


The Frying Pan and the Fire

by embro



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Boys Kissing, Character Death, Drinking, M/M, References to Suicide, Swearing, larry stylinson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-06
Updated: 2013-04-20
Packaged: 2017-12-07 15:34:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 22,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/750136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/embro/pseuds/embro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry is a former child star who now works at a bar. </p><p>Louis is an indie artist who wants Harry to be in his new music video. </p><p>Harry is a grump and Louis is too chipper. Harry is straight and Louis is openly gay. </p><p>Louis is determined and persistent and at some point Harry stops denying himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I remade on [Tumblr ](http://harryventura.tumblr.com)

“Eastenders.” Harry grumbled, looking at the tall haired, little faced guy standing across from him at the bar. When Harry asked him for his order, he just stood and stared, open mouthed. “That’s what you recognise me from. Eastenders.” He’d played a deaf violin playing prodigy on the show when he was eleven, and eight years later he still got recognised at least once a day. No matter how tight his jeans were or how many tattoos he got, he was still first and foremost the dimpled cherub ‘Devon’ from Eastenders, who moved away from town when he was twelve to go to some academy for geniuses and thus set Harry free. 

“You’re an actor?” the guy asked, and he sounded hopeful.

“Was.” Harry replied with a frown. “Now I’m at your service. What do you want to drink mate?”

“Oh. Three beers please, on tap.” As Harry poured the glasses, the boy said “I’m Louis.”

Harry grinned. “Fantastic. I’m Harry, and I’ll have your twelve dollars now thanks.”

Louis blushed as he fumbled the money out of his wallet. Harry took the money, and with a salute excused himself to deal with another customer. This one was a regular, and despite only ever drinking whisky he liked to take his time perusing the cocktail menu. Harry promised himself to one day make the guy the most flamboyant drink possible as he patiently waited for the old fart.

 

It was a long shift, and Harry was keen to get home as soon as he threw down his apron and walked out from the bar. It was probably why he was so annoyed when Luke or whatever from before blocked his path to the exit.

“I was wondering something.” The guy said, and Harry grimaced as he noticed a few guys sitting at a table not far from them, watching carefully and seemingly trying not to laugh.

“Get on with it.”

“I was wondering if you’d like to be in my music video. It would be paid of course.”

Harry crossed his arms. “Why?”

“I just think you’d be perfect for it. You could pass as the person the song was written about, you fit the description to the letter. And you said you were an actor, that’s not something you just forget how to do right?”

“How much?”

“Uh, I’d have to discuss it with my manager. Can I have your number?” the little guy asked. Harry watched as he pulled out his business card. His hair was caramel coloured and carefully styled, and it looked like he hadn’t shaved in a few days. He was a good looking guy, Harry could admit that, and he seemed nice enough. Just a bit odd, really, and that could be the musician in him.

“Alright.” Harry finally said when he took the card and read the name. He held out his hand, and when Louis looked at him in confusion he said “Phone.” Louis quickly pulled it out, dropped it, and finally passed it to Harry with a blush. He entered his number in and smirked down at the other guy. “Let me know the details and I’ll let you know if I’m in.” And at that, he strode past Louis without a second glance, excited for his big bed and a cup of tea.

 

He didn’t get the quiet night he’d hoped for. His friend Niall was over with a couple of girls, all three of them seated on the brown leather couch and watching some old black and white show.

“Harry!” Niall called when Harry sat down on an armchair to join them. “How was work?”

“Fine. What are you doing here?”

“Liam had his girlfriend over, so we thought we’d leave them to it.” Harry raised an eyebrow, and Niall got the hint after a ten second staring contest. “This is Perrie and Jade.”

“Hi.” Harry smiled politely. They were both gorgeous girls but he couldn’t quite figure out who Niall was trying to crack on to, so that meant he couldn’t really show preference just yet.

“You haven’t got exams in the morning or something?”

“It’s Saturday. So no.”

“Well we were thinking of heading out if you want to come.” Niall asked hopefully. Despite being exhausted not ten minutes before, the sight of pretty legs and nice boobs perked him up. 

“Yeah, I’ll just go shower.”

 

Harry didn’t get into bed until four a.m. Niall hooked up with Jade, and Perrie ended up having a boyfriend who showed up just when Harry was getting close. The guy managed to look scary despite having a pretty face, so Harry wasn’t going to mess with that. Instead he danced alone until a girl sidled up to him, and a few minutes of grinding against each other later she was sucking him off in a bathroom stall. 

He climbed into bed, his head still spinning from the alcohol and his ears still ringing from the music. It wasn’t seconds later before he was dead asleep.

 

A shrill beeping woke him up, and he slammed his alarm clock, wondering what the hell it was doing on. The noise kept going, and he cracked his eyes open to see that it was eleven a.m. Seven hours sleep just wouldn’t do. 

With a groan, he picked up his ringing phone and answered it, grunting out a hello.

“Hello, it’s Louis Tomlinson. I’m after Harry Styles.”

“Yeah, what?” This guy sounded way too chipper.

After a brief pause, the voice stammered. “Did I wake you?”

“Yes.”

“I like your morning voice, it’s really rough.”

“What do you want?” Harry snapped. He was in no mood for flattery.

“Right, sorry. So I spoke to my manager last night and they thought it was stupid of me to offer you the job without getting to know you. ‘That’s what interviews are for’ they said, which is true isn’t it?”

Harry grunted.

“So I was hoping to meet up with you for dinner tonight to get to know you a little better. See if you’re right for the job and all that.”

“What’s the rush?” Harry asked as he rolled on to his back, trying to blink his eyes open against the sun that was sneaking through the blinds.

“We want to start shooting this week. The lyric video already has loads of YouTube views so they want to get out a proper video a.s.a.p. I probably should have said that first hey? You might not be free next week, it’s really short notice.”

“Mmm.” Harry agreed.

“So are you still interested?” Louis asked hopefully.

“Dunno. I guess I can see you tonight and talk about it.” Harry replied. “Just text me where you want to meet, I’m going back to sleep.” And without waiting for a response, Harry hung up.


	2. Chapter 2

Harry was woken for the second time from Niall jumping on his bed. 

“I’m changing where I hide my key.” Harry grumbled as he forced himself up.

“Don’t bother, I took it and made a copy one time.” His Irish friend replied, jumping off the bed and skipping out of the room. “I brought lunch!” he called over his shoulder.

 

Harry bit into the day old sandwich that Niall had brought over. It was egg and lettuce, Harry’s least favourite out of all premade cafe sandwiches. “So what are you doing here then?”

“Just wanted to see what you were up to. I was bored.” Niall explained with a shrug. One good and bad thing about being friends with Niall was that he lived in Harry’s building. It was good when Harry wanted entertainment, but bad when Niall wanted entertainment.

“I’m going out in a couple of hours but you can hang til then.”

“Where are you going?”

“Job interview.”

Niall frowned. “You quitting the bar?”

“Nah, it’s just an acting gig. Kind of.”

“Harry, that’s great!” Niall jumped up and pranced about the room, and Harry wanted to slap his enthusiastic smile right off.

“It’s just a music video.” Harry grumbled.

“It’s still something. You’ve wanted to get back into acting, yeah? And this is acting!”

“Kind of acting. I probably just have to stare lovingly into some girl’s eyes or skip along a beach or something.” 

“Who’s the video for?”

“Louis Tomlinson.”

Niall frowned and ran out of the room, coming back with Harry’s laptop. “I’ve never heard of him but Google would have.” A few clicks later and they were on Louis’ YouTube page. Harry finally finished the last of his sandwich and was heading to the bin when a song started playing. Curiosity got the better of him and he chucked the wrapper into the sink to get back to the laptop. 

Harry looked at the upload date and the view count and mumbled “I think this is the song the video is for.” Niall shushed him, clearly enjoying it. It was a beautiful sounding song, pretty much just a voice and a guitar. The voice wasn’t perfect, but it was so emotion-filled that Harry could practically feel the guy’s tears dropping onto his skin. The song ended, and without saying anything Niall replayed it. This time Harry paid attention to the lyrics that were written on the screen, and he nodded when Niall muttered “Something tells me you won’t be frolicking on a beach with some girl.”

 

“So I listened to the song.” Harry said as soon as he sat down at the table Louis was at. He’d booked them some place in a decent restaurant, fancy but not overpriced.

Louis’ face lit up. “What did you think?”

“Will I be playing the uh, guy who killed himself?” Harry asked, and felt like such an ass.

“Yeah. Did you get the story?”

“Was he your boyfriend?” Harry asked instead of answering.

“Uh, sort of. Sorry, I know I wrote a song about it and put it out for the world to see but it’s still personal, you know?” Louis replied, and Harry nodded even though he didn’t know. “But you got the general gist yeah?”

“I think so. The guy feels so ashamed of his sexuality that he kills himself. Is that it?”

“That’s in the song, yeah.”

“So will you be in the clip with me?” 

“Yeah, kind of. We don’t have many scenes to do together, there’ll mainly just be shots of me playing the guitar and singing and stuff.”

“Right. Okay.” Harry muttered, and grinned when his food arrived. He’d ordered steak and it was huge and he was starving.

“So you still want the job, right?” Louis asked hopefully. 

“Yeah. Do you still want me?”

“Yeah. As long as there are no shots of you eating, I think it will be great.” Louis said with a grin, and Harry smiled right back with gravy coloured lips.

 

After they’d eaten, they walked to a nearby ice cream shop to grab some desert. Louis bought Harry dinner, and even though he said it would count as a business expense or something, Harry thought it would only be fair to shout Louis a treat. 

“It’s a beautiful song.” Harry said as they left the store. The good thing about eating ice cream in London was that it didn’t melt; the city was like one giant freezer.

“Thanks, it means a lot to me so it was pretty scary finally releasing it.”

“You been singing for long?”

“Yeah, this new album I’m releasing is my second.”

“I hadn’t heard of you, sorry. Should I have?” Harry asked. He really hoped he wasn’t being rude, but sometimes he just couldn’t tell what polite conversation was and what wasn’t.

“I don’t get any popular radio play or anything.” Louis said with a smile, eyes trained on Harry’s ice cream. The curly haired boy experimentally started to move the cone slowly away from him, and Louis’ stare remained on his lips. Interesting. Louis cleared his throat. “Most of my fans just know me from online. I got signed by a small label after putting up some original songs on YouTube and it kind of just took off from there. I do a bit of touring around the UK here and there too.”

“So, basically, you’re quite successful.”

“I guess.” Louis replied with a grin, finally looking up into Harry’s eyes.

“Cool, I’ll have to buy your albums then.” Harry grinned, and Louis blushed. Harry popped the last of the ice cream cone in his mouth and realised Louis had only eaten half of his. He wasn’t sure if he had to wait until Louis was finished too, or if he could go now. It was really cold, and Harry started to regret getting a frozen desert now that his insides were freezing too. 

“So I think we should part ways.” Louis said finally, clearing his throat and throwing the rest of his ice cream into a nearby bin. 

“Yeah, cool.” Harry said quickly, and hoped his enthusiasm wasn’t taken the wrong way. He really wanted this job now.

Louis smiled, so he couldn’t have been that bad. “Remember, you have to come meet a few people tomorrow afternoon and listen to the director’s ideas about the clip. Then shooting begins a couple of days after that.”

“Yep, got it. See you then, Lou.”

“Yeah, looking forward to it. And Harry, I had the biggest crush on you when you were on Eastenders.” 

Harry laughed and shook his hair out of his face. "That's just creepy."


	3. Chapter 3

“So you gave him the job then?” Nick asked. He was usually pretty blasé about stuff, but this time his manager looked pissed off.

“Yeah, he’s pretty cool.” Louis replied

“And just plain pretty I imagine.” Nick grumbled, and Louis blushed.

“There’s nothing plain about him.”

“Knew it! We don’t even know if he can act! You’ve seen the directions, this video is all about emotion and a shit actor will ruin everything.” Nick was getting frustrated, stomping around the room and carrying on as Louis and the clip director watched. Harry was meant to be here any minute, and he really hoped Nick wouldn’t say something to scare him off.

“I know he can act, he’ll be amazing. I didn’t feel anything from those actors we auditioned and...”

“You just felt a spark when you saw Harry Styles right?” Nick smirked. Sometimes he could be a massive asshole.

When they heard a light knock on the door, Nick shut up and let Harry into the room. Louis smirked as Nick’s eyes widened slightly, clearly impressed. Harry was dressed simply in tight jeans and a white shirt, jacket slung over his arm, but as always he looked damn sexy.

“Hey, I’m not late am I?” Harry said in that deep voice, and Louis involuntarily shivered.

“Not at all.” Louis said with a wide smile. “This is Nick, my manager, and this is Aiden the director.”

Harry nodded at them in greeting and sat down in the only empty chair in the room. He slumped forward and stared at Louis with raised eyebrows.

Aiden cleared his throat. “So, what has Louis told you about the clip exactly?”

“Just that I play a guy who kills himself in the end.”

Aiden blinked. “Alright, it’s not going to be as simple as that. There’ll be a lot of symbolism, it won’t just be you being depressed.”

“Alright.” Harry shrugged.

“Sit up, will you?” Nick snapped, and Harry smirked but did as he was told. He grinned a dimpled grin at Nick and turned his attention back to Aiden.

“So about half the clip will be of you, a quarter will be shots of Louis, and the rest will be the two of you together. Has Louis told you you’ll be required to kiss him?” 

Louis blushed and watched Harry carefully. Green eyes flickered over to him. “No, but that’s alright.” Harry muttered. Louis let out the breath he didn’t even know he was holding.

“You’ll be doing more than just kissing. You’ve got to sell it that you’re in love with him.” Nick growled from the corner.

“Easy.” Harry said with a wink, and Louis really wished he would stop stirring Nick up.

“Right, so.” Aiden was getting flustered. “I think that’s all you need to know at the moment. We’ll fill you in with the rest as we go. Filming starts Wednesday, is that all okay with you?”

“Yeah, I’ll have to skip some lectures but I don’t mind.” 

“Alright, sorted.” Louis said, slapping his hands together.

“Wait, shouldn’t we see if he can act first?” Nick interrupted.

Harry shrugged. “What do you want me to do then?”

“Show me that you can pretend to be in love with Louis when you kiss him.” Nick smirked, and Harry blinked a couple of times before pushing himself out of the chair. 

He looked at Louis with a small smile on his face, and his eyes raked over Louis’ body slowly from head to toe and back, his smile growing wider as his eyes got closer to Louis’ face. When their eyes met, Louis shivered and Harry came closer. He slipped a hand behind Louis’ neck and the other cupped his cheek. He pressed his forehead against Louis’, and Louis couldn’t breathe as Harry was so close and his eyes wouldn’t leave his lips. Harry was still smiling, and then his eyes moved up to look into Louis’, and then he kissed him. Harry’s lips moulded against his perfectly, and Louis could only describe it as a caress when Harry’s thumb started rubbing his cheek. He tilted his head slightly and his lips grew more frantic, and he didn’t stop until someone cleared their throat. 

Harry pulled back but left his hands where they were, then looked at Nick. “I can cry on demand too.”

Nick was tinged pink and Louis would have laughed at the expression on his face if he wasn’t concentrating so hard on breathing. “Alright. See you on Wednesday then.” Nick grumbled.

“Fantastic.” Harry said with a wide grin, then turned back to Louis. “Text me the details yeah?” and he didn’t take his hands away until Louis nodded. He grinned wider and headed to the door, shouting over his shoulder “I’ll see you all Wednesday.”

 

Harry let out a shaky breath as he headed to the station. It was weird kissing a boy, but not exactly unpleasant. Louis’ stubble scratched his cheek and Harry could still feel it. He really should have known that he would have to get romantic with Louis, it was a sad song about lost love after all. He just really hoped he wasn’t going to regret this.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: I clearly have no knowledge of shooting video clips or acting in general

A million butterflies were flying around Harry’s stomach by the time he got to the studio. He hadn’t felt this nervous in ages, and he wasn’t even sure what he was so nervous about. He thought the tension would ease when he caught sight of Louis, but it only grew.

“Hey.” Harry muttered when he was close to Louis, hands in the pocket of his blazer.

Louis smiled, but he looked just how Harry felt. “Hi. Today we’re just doing our separate stuff.” 

“Alright.” He grumbled, and looked around him. There were sets and everything. Harry avoided looking at the fake bedroom. 

Aiden approached Harry soon after, and pulled him away to get styled. Harry’s hair was tamed and they put a bit of foundation on him, but he got to wear his clothes. He was led to a set that looked like it was a school hallway, and the filming begun.

A lot of it was just him walking sullenly down halls. At one point he had to be furious and punch a wall. There were shots of him outside in the sun, just lying on a patch of grass. They set up a football match that Harry had to watch, and he felt that it was a bit pervy and cliché.

He made out with a girl in a shower, both of them still dressed. She kept slipping on the wet tiles, so they ended up kissing for a good half hour until Aiden was happy with what he filmed. Harry didn’t mind, she was beautiful. He got to trash a room too, and he never knew throwing pieces of furniture around could feel so good.

He had to look at himself in a mirror and pretend to punch it, and pick up a bit of plastic that looked like broken glass. He had to clench it, and look at himself through the bloody bit of mirror. The last bit took a lot of takes, with Aiden trying to get the camera at the perfect angle. A break was called and Harry had never felt so relieved.

 

“I was watching you, you did really well.” Louis told him as they ate lunch. 

“Is that what really happened? That bathroom stuff?” Harry asked, unable to look into Louis’ eyes.

“No, he overdosed.” Louis muttered. 

Harry nodded silently and took a sip of his coffee. 

 

They finished at five in the evening, and Harry was both emotionally and physically sapped. They didn’t film much more in the bathroom scene, because Aiden didn’t want Harry to actually pretend to kill himself. He said it was just going to be implied, and Harry couldn’t be more thankful.

He got to watch some of Louis’ takes, which were just the older boy playing guitar and singing sullenly into a microphone. The lighting was beautiful though, and Harry knew the takes would turn out great. 

 

The following day was when everything else would be filmed. When Harry got in, Louis pulled him aside.

“There’s been a few changes.” He muttered under his breath. “You’ll be working with another male actor.”

Harry shrugged. “Alright.”

“So we don’t have any scenes together.” Louis said with a raised eyebrow, but Harry didn’t get it until he was directed to push the guy down onto the bed and crawl over him. 

He was a good looking guy, very model perfect. Harry was surprised at how upset he felt that it wasn’t Louis though. He put it down to feeling more comfortable around the singer.

“So in this scene, you’ve got to show us that you’re truly happy.” Aiden told them, so Harry plastered on his widest grin and made sure it carried all the way through to his eyes. 

Kissing this guy was definitely different. He kept shoving his tongue in Harry’s mouth which was annoying, because Harry didn’t really think that type of kissing was very romantic. He had to push the guy down onto the bed and lie over him and push his shirt up, all while kissing him, and it was just weird. He’d never had to do anything like this before. He kept his hips well away from the other guy’s, and if Aiden noticed he didn’t say anything. 

 

“How was that?” Louis asked after the final take. It was of Harry pushing the model guy away and screaming at him until he cried. He felt like an idiot when the scene finished and his tears were drying on his skin, but he knew it would look amazing once Aiden worked his magic.

“Interesting.” Harry said with a frown. “How come you weren’t in those bits?”

“Aiden just thought it would look better and have a bigger impact, and critics would react to it better.”

“Alright. So is that it then?”

“Yeah, we’re all done. Thanks for doing this.”

“No worries. I’ll be off then, I got work tonight.” But before Harry could leave, Louis’ hand was on his wrist.

“Can we meet up for drinks or something some time?”

Harry grimaced. “I’m not gay, Louis.”

Louis turned the colour of beetroot. “I didn’t mean it like that.” He near whispered.

Harry stared at Louis for a moment. He did like the guy, and he did have a good time with him the other night at dinner. “Yeah, alright then. I guess we could be mates.” 

“Yeah, mates. Sounds good.”


	5. Chapter 5

Harry felt a tickling sensation in his ear and cracked his eye open. Niall was lying on the pillow next to him, grinning like a madman. He pursed his lips and Harry really should have expected the blowing in his ear but it made him jump up anyway. 

“Niall, what the fuck?” he grumbled, pushing his friend out of the bed. It was quite a nice feeling when Niall groaned in pain. 

“You need to pick up your shit if I’m going to be falling onto the floor, Harry.” Niall muttered, pulling a shoe out from under him.

“Well you'll be lucky to leave this room with just a sore back.”

“It’s usually guy’s asses that are sore when they leave, huh?” Niall joked, and Harry threw a pillow at him, muttering “A gay joke, real original.” 

“So what have we got planned for today then? Liam’s out with his new girlfriend so you’ve got the whole day with me. You’re a very lucky man, Harry.”

Harry groaned and rolled over, back to his Irish friend. Niall seemed to take this as an invitation to climb into bed with him and start chatting away about whatever crap was on his mind. Harry really had to change his lock. “Don’t you have work today?” he interrupted Niall’s incessant babbling.

“It’s midday, I worked the morning shift. That reminds me, I brought you a croissant and a coffee which is probably cold by now.” 

Harry pushed himself up immediately and headed to the kitchen, where a bag and cup were waiting for him on the bench. Niall skipped along behind him, and if Harry wasn’t so in need of caffeine he wouldn’t have hesitated throwing the hot beverage at Niall. Harry wasn’t kind to those who woke him up, especially if they did it by blowing in his ear.

“Didn’t you have that video clip this week?” Niall asked as Harry chewed at his pastry. It was a bit stale, but who was Harry to complain.

“Yeah, finished it up on Thursday.”

“How was it then?”

Harry shrugged. “Alright.”

“What’s the singer like? I’ve been listening to some of his other stuff and he’s really good.”

“He’s cool.”

“Do you reckon I could meet him?” Niall asked, tips of his ears tinged pink. Despite being incredibly pale, and Irish, that was the only discolouration Niall got when he was embarrassed. Harry rarely blushed, but when he did it covered his whole face and neck.

“Yeah, he said he’s coming into work tonight for a couple of hours with his mates. I’ll text you when he does if you like.”

“Yeah, okay.” Niall nodded vigorously, unable to contain his excitement, and if Harry could be bothered he would have laughed.

 

Louis pulled his beanie down to cover his ears before he walked into the bar where he would see Harry, for the second time that day. He may have got a sneaky glance before Harry walked in to start his shift, and after seeing the curly haired lad he may have run home to change into something more impressive. He resisted the urge to run up to the bar and demand Harry’s attention, instead making his way to the table where Nick and Ed were sitting. 

Ed was about as red as his hair from laughing, and Nick just had a small smile on his face but it grew when he spotted Louis. 

“Alright mate.” Nick said, nodding towards the bar and Louis braced himself for what would come next. “You know there are other bars with hot workers in this city. This isn’t going to be our new spot because loverboy works here is it?”

Louis shrugged in response. Of course it was going to be there new spot. “So what does everyone want?”

“Do I really have to ask?” Ed said with a grin, and Louis returned it before traipsing over to the bar. He tried to still the nerves that were on overdrive as he grew closer to the boy with emerald eyes and impossible dimples.

When those eyes turned on him, they crinkled at the edges and the dimples made an appearance. “Hey Louis, what can I get you?”

Louis loved how Harry said his name. He didn’t realise he had been staring until Harry quirked an eyebrow. “Right, uh, three beers thanks.”

“On tap?” he asked, and Louis nodded and handed the cash over when Harry asked for it. Louis was about to turn away when Harry stopped him with a big hand on his shoulder. “A mate of mine will be dropping in at some point. Do you mind if he hangs with you?”

Louis should have said no, that Nick would make things awkward and Ed would just sit there grinning, but he nodded because he would give Harry anything the boy asked. And damn it if that made him whipped. It was all worth it when that smile lighted up Harry’s face.

“Sick. His name is Niall, he’s Irish, I’ll just send him over when he’s here yeah?” When Louis nodded, Harry grinned again and disappeared to serve someone else. 

“I’ll never get why you do this to yourself.” Nick said, taking the offered beer. Louis ignored him, hoping that his manager wouldn’t continue but knew there was no chance. “When you fell for a closet case, it didn’t exactly end well. Now you’re following a straight guy like a lost puppy that has been kicked too many times but is begging for more.”

“Harsh.” Ed grumbled, but Louis ignored them. He’d spotted Harry talking to a cute blonde, pointing in his direction.

“We’re making a new friend tonight, lads.” Louis mumbled under his breath. Nick looked pissed and Ed swore, but when Louis kicked them under the table they both plastered on fake smiles as the blonde approached them with four beers.

“Hey, fellas. I’m Niall.” The Irish guy said with a grin, putting the glasses down and climbing up onto a stool beside Ed. 

“Alright?” Nick asked, grabbing an offered drink and taking a few audible gulps.

“Yeah, yourself?” Niall asked, and skulled down at least half of his glass. Him and Nick were going to get on just fine.

 

The two of them were blind by the end of the hour. Louis liked Niall, despite him being a bit awkward at first. He was full of compliments for Louis and his music, which the singer didn’t feel comfortable accepting, but he soon got distracted with trying to beat Nick and Louis could relax again. Until Harry walked past to deliver a tray of drinks to a table of girls. 

“He likes Harry then?” Louis heard Niall say, and he snapped his head to give Nick a warning glance.

“Yeah, doesn’t get that Harry is straight.” Nick said with a laugh. Some friend he was.

“That sucks.” Niall said with a scrunched up nose.

“So he’s not even a little bit gay?” Louis asked sadly.

“I’ve never thought so, but if anyone can turn him, I’m sure it would be you.” Niall said with a wink. Louis would have reminded Niall that people don’t turn gay, but he was too busy wishing that wasn't true.


	6. Chapter 6

Harry was feeling pretty good after his shift. He’d got loads of tips from a group of girls on a bar crawl, and two gave him their number. He probably wouldn’t call either of them but it made him feel pretty damn hot.

“Want to go somewhere else?” Harry asked when he approached Louis and his mates. He could tell they all had quite a bit to drink, not only because he’d served them an insane amount of alcohol but also because they were incredibly loud. 

“Yeah, I know a place.” Nick said with a wide grin, and it was the first Harry had got from the man. He smiled right back.

“Alright, let’s go.”

 

A club dotted with shirtless guys in cages thrusting and flexing wasn’t really what Harry had in mind. He was way too sober for a gay club.

“Come on Harry, it’ll be a laugh.” Niall said quickly, and grabbed Harry by the wrist to drag him to the bar. He ignored the guys that were checking him out, and tried not to react when his ass was pinched. Niall was looking around with a smile on his face, winking at guys around them and grabbing a few asses of his own. It paid off though; by the time they got the barkeeper’s attention, three drinks were all pushed in front of them.

“From that guy, that guy and that guy.” The barkeeper pointed, and he sounded dead bored. 

“For which one of us?” Niall just had to ask.

“You.”

“Knew it!” Niall shouted, and Harry rolled his eyes. “You got to work it Haz.”

“Whatever.” Harry grumbled, reaching for the drink that was the least bright. Niall slapped his hand away.

“I earned these mate, get your own.” Niall said with a grin and tried to take the drinks in his hands. He couldn’t carry them all, and Harry smirked. “Alright, you can have that one.” He muttered.

 

Niall had been right, it was actually a lot of fun. They got free drinks all night, after Harry learnt to sway his hips a bit more when he walked and smile at guys when they looked at him, and when they weren’t drinking they were dancing like absolute idiots. They didn’t have anyone to impress, if anything they wanted to turn the people around them off, so they waved their arms around and shared moves they’d learnt from their parents. Louis and his mates joined in for a bit, but then Nick went off with some guy and Ed said he had to go home. That left Louis, who had some of the funniest dance moves Harry had ever seen. 

Harry couldn’t help but notice all the guys around them watching Louis like he was a piece of meat. Sure, his ass was pretty amazing, but that wasn’t an invitation. When a guy got a bit too handsy, and wouldn’t take Louis’ moving away as a no, then Harry had to intervene. He pulled Louis to him and stared at the guy until he put his hands up in surrender and left them alone. 

“You alright?” Harry asked, leaning in to yell in Louis’ ear. 

“Yeah.” Louis said, hot breath against Harry’s cheek. Harry grinned and released Louis’ hips, but he didn’t step back. Just so guys would leave Louis alone. 

 

“You are cock blocking him so bad!” Niall told Harry when the three of them went to the bar to get some water. Harry had never felt so thirsty in his life.

“Am I?” Harry asked Louis, and the older boy shook his head vigorously. Harry quirked an eyebrow at Niall and the boy smirked annoyingly.

“I’m ready to head home.” Niall told them, and Harry nodded his head to the exit. “You can stay here you know.” Niall added, a little too quick.

“We live in the same building, it’d be stupid not to get a cab together. You ready to go home?” he asked Louis.

“I was meant to go home with Nick.” Louis muttered.

“Just come back to mine. Niall will probably stay there too.” Harry said with a shrug.

 

Niall ended up going back to his. Liam was staying at his girlfriend’s place so Niall wasn’t worried about walking into anything weird.

“Want a shower or anything?” Harry asked, heading into the kitchen to grab them some more water. When he passed the glass to Louis, the boy patted the spot on the couch next to him and Harry sat down. 

“You remind me of him sometimes.” 

“Who?”

“Zayn. My, uh, the guy from the song.”

Harry frowned but took a seat next to Louis. He’d been dying to know more, and he knew that now, while he was blind drunk and unable to sit up right, wasn’t the best time to talk about it. It wasn’t going to stop him asking though. “How?”

“You’re quiet, and when you say the wrong thing you frown the same as him. And you get annoyed easily, he did too.”

“These don’t exactly sound like good qualities Louis.” Harry laughed.

“They’re what I loved about him though.” 

Harry looked down at Louis with a frown that disappeared when he noticed the tears running down his cheeks. Without thought he reached out and cupped Louis' face and wiped away tears with his thumbs. 

“Can I?” Louis whispered, eyes flicking down to Harry's lips, and Harry leaned down to press them lightly to Louis’. When he pulled back, Louis’ lips chased his and Harry held the boy back. 

He cleared his throat and said awkwardly “It’ll be alright.” Louis blinked up at Harry twice before he climbed into his lap and pressed his chin into the crook of Harry’s neck. “Louis.” Harry muttered, and he felt Louis’ lips move against his throat before he heard the boy speak.

“Can you just let me Harry, please? I really want to and it will be good for you I swear.”

“What do you want?” Harry asked, stopping the hand that had begun to impulsively rub Louis’ back. 

“I want to taste you. Let me, please.” Louis begged, and Harry stopped breathing for a moment. 

He was thinking no, that's not what friends do, it would change everything. But instead he kissed Louis on the forehead and nodded. 

 

Harry swallowed the lump in his throat as Louis slid down him, closing his eyes when he felt hands fumble with his jeans. Like this, he thought he could just picture it was a girl. It could be the girl from the video clip shoot, or Perrie, or one of the better looking girls at the bar. But the hand that wrapped around his cock and tugged felt too big, and too callused, and just too masculine. His breath hitched as he felt himself getting harder. When lips wrapped around him, his breathing stopped altogether.

“Fuck.” He groaned, and Louis took more of him in. When Louis’ tongue swiped at his cockhead, Harry’s eyes flickered open and he found himself looking down, watching Louis move back and forth with hollowed cheeks. Louis did something with his tongue and teeth and when blue eyes flew up to meet green Harry came with a boy’s name on his lips for the first time in his life.


	7. Chapter 7

Harry woke with a start as cold feet wrapped around his ankles, and he muttered “Fuck off Niall” before elbowing the body beside him. The pained grunt wasn’t Niall’s though; Harry had caused it enough to know exactly what it sounded like. He rolled over quickly and blinked at the boy beside him.

“Morning.” Louis murmured with a small smile. 

“Morning.” Harry replied with a frown. “What-?”

“The couch was really lumpy and when I asked you if I could get into your bed you said I could.” Louis explained quickly. It all came crashing back to Harry when Louis said the word couch. Harry could feel the moment he started to blush and he really hoped Louis wouldn’t notice it. Waking up like this was awkward enough without mentioning Louis blowing him last night.

“I’ve got to get ready for Uni.” Harry said as he pushed himself up out of bed. 

“It’s Saturday.” Louis near whispered.

“I have to go in to work on an assignment.” Harry lied smoothly. He really just wanted Louis gone, but what could he say? ‘Thanks for the head last night but now it’s uncomfortable so leave’ wasn’t exactly polite, even Harry knew that. Leaving his own home for a little while was better than any alternatives.

“We’re not going to talk about-“

“Don’t have time, sorry.” Harry said with a grin that probably wasn’t appropriate. Honestly, he had no idea what was an appropriate way to react in this situation. It felt like the morning after a one night stand with a clingy girl, but Harry actually had to see Louis again. 

Harry figured his response wasn't so bad when Louis left his place within the next few minutes, small smile still on his face.

 

It wasn’t like Harry was avoiding Louis, he just became really busy. It had occurred to him that exams were coming up, and he actually did have assignments to do, so he started studying. That meant he didn’t really have time to be seeing friends. Except for Niall, because he was at his place all the time anyway. And some of his Uni mates too, because Harry figured they would maybe talk about study between drinks, so that could still be allowed. Liam had finally stopped following his girlfriend around too, so Harry obviously had to see him. 

And at work, he’d just thought that maybe he should start listening to the manager and stop serving his friends. And seeing as Louis was a friend, he couldn’t serve him. He’d been so tired lately too, so that’s why he didn’t ever go out with Louis anymore either, or stay back at the bar to catch up after work. 

Harry realised that he should start saving his phone credit, so he couldn’t really reply to all of Louis’ messages, or call Louis back if he missed his calls. Which he always seemed to do, because he was just so busy. 

 

Harry was the only one working on a day when Louis came in to the bar. Before Harry could greet him, Louis held up a finger.

“You’re avoiding me.”

“I’m not.” Harry replied quickly.

“You haven’t answered any of my calls or texts. You run off when I come near you, and when you finish work you don’t come over and say hi when I’m right there. I’m starting to feel like a leper.”

“I’ve just been really busy.” Harry said, and Louis frowned in a way that the curly haired boy had never seen. Harry pinched the bridge of his nose. “What am I supposed to do?” he said as he exhaled. 

“Talk to me for one. If you want to talk about that night then-“

“I don’t.” Harry interrupted.

“Well I do.”

“Well I’d rather just forget about it.”

“Well it happened and you need to get over it.”

“How do you want me to react Louis? You think I’d magically be attracted to you afterwards or something? I don’t know how to be friends with a guy who wants to be more.”

“Don’t be so cocky. Who said I want to be more?” Louis huffed, and Harry quirked a brow. “I don’t want anything from you Harry. If you don’t want to be friends then fine, but you should have said something like a normal person rather than hiding like a coward.”

“What do you fucking expect?” Harry hissed through his teeth. “You jump me and-“

“Fuck off Harry. I asked, you wanted it. Don’t act like I forced you.” Louis growled before slamming an envelope down on the bar. “Here’s your pay. The video gets released in a week. Have a nice life.”

 

On the morning the video was released, Niall had sat on Harry’s bed, laptop on his knees, and shoved Harry until he woke. For once Harry didn’t really mind.

“How do you feel?” Niall asked when he had sat up against his pillows and looked to the screen.

“Just play it.” Harry rolled his eyes and muttered. He couldn’t really tell Niall that he’d never felt so nervous; they weren’t like that.

The song started and Harry forgot how beautiful the guitar was. In the video though were a group of young pretty people that he had never seen before in his life, just smiling and hanging out with each other and Harry looked to Niall.

“They wouldn’t have taken you out, would they?” Niall asked, and a lump formed in Harry’s throat. He considered going to the bathroom in case he threw up, but instead just turned back to the laptop. He breathed a sigh of relief when the familiar football game scene played, and Harry could see himself in the distance. When his face filled the screen, Harry felt sick again. People were going to see this. Him, not as a child, who couldn’t be judged, but as an adult who people would have no qualms about judging. He watched with wide eyes as the story unfolded, but couldn’t take it in because that was him on the tiny screen, and right now he was probably on lots of tiny screens all over the country. All over the world. 

“Fuck.” Niall huffed when it was over, and Harry looked to him quickly. “I didn’t realise you were so good Harry. I was this close to crying I swear.” The Irish boy leaned back on the pillow with a sigh. “This is seriously going to change things for you.”

But Harry didn’t know if he wanted things to change.


	8. Chapter 8

To say Louis was pleased with the video would be a massive understatement. It was so much more then he could have imagined, and it made releasing his song that meant so much to him a whole lot less scary. It held the truth’s essence, close enough to reality that Louis’ integrity was intact but further enough from what happened to Zayn that he didn’t feel like he was giving everyone a ticket to see into that small black hole in his heart.

Aiden was an actual genius. It was more like a short arthouse film then a music clip. It had started off as black and white, with Harry sitting alone watching people that were so happy and content with life. It introduced the other male character in a classroom, followed by him and Harry running down an empty hall together, then them together on the bed. It was hard to watch the anger on Harry’s face during the fighting scene, when the colours faded out and Harry was back to being all shades of grey. The hardest to watch though was when Harry had been in the shower with the girl, a scene interrupted by glimpses of Harry trashing his bedroom. She’d left the bathroom with a smile on her face and left Harry alone to stare at his reflection, pure hatred held by his eyes and the snarl he suddenly emitted. Louis jumped when Harry’s fist connected with the mirror, and was crying by the time blood started oozing from his knuckles. After Harry had looked at that small bit of himself in the mirror and clenched that small bit of glass until his hand was covered in blood, drops dripping into the sink, Louis could hardly breathe. When Harry brought his bloody hand up to his neck and squeezed, Louis just wanted to tear at his aching chest.

 

Louis had been in college when he met Zayn at a party. The boy was still in high school but Louis didn’t find that out until after he had blown him in his car and driven him home after. He’d walked him up to the house, expecting to be invited in, but they were greeted by Zayn’s parents who reminded him that he started school in six hours and he was not going to miss another day. Louis got chewed out by Zayn’s parents too, and the look of pure embarrassment and shame on that beautiful face had Louis slipping the boy his number and leaving with a grin. 

Zayn called him after a week in tears. Someone at school had called him a fag, just during a game of football that turned heated, and even though the guy was just trying to insult him Zayn freaked out. 

“I am aren’t I?” Zayn had uttered through a choked sob. “I’m gay and Muslim and what’s the point when everything I am can cause so much hate in people.”

“They don’t have a right to hate you, they’re just ignorant.” Louis had told him. “Its people like them that are what’s wrong with the world, not people like us.” He just kept talking and talking about what was special about Zayn, about why he shouldn’t be the one questioning the point of life, about how things wouldn’t always be so scary. And when Zayn hung up, he was no longer crying.

They’d met up another week later, in a small coffee shop near Louis’ apartment where no one would recognise Zayn and no one cared that they were holding hands. Louis got to know more of Zayn and when the younger boy smiled his whole face lit up and Louis could see him and he wanted. 

Zayn had such a dry sense of humour, constantly sarcastic and giving Louis pointed looks that had the older boy laughing and his heart racing. He stomped around adorably when he was mad, and when he was happy, Louis could swear the boy floated above the ground. Everything about him was just so beautiful that when he showed any sign of unhappiness with who he was, Louis’ heart would stop. That’s how he knew he was in love with Zayn, because how could his heart ache so much for someone who wasn’t a part of it. 

It happened so gradually that Louis hadn’t noticed until it was too late. Zayn became more withdrawn and his anger became less endearing and more frightening. He just wasn’t ever happy around Louis, and even less happy when they were apart. When they had gone to a party together, Zayn had attached himself to a small pretty girl and got mad when Louis had walked in on him on top of her in a bedroom. He’d said that this is who he was going to be and who Louis should be and that if he couldn’t then he deserved to hurt.

Two weeks later Zayn finally answered Louis’ call and sobbed that he couldn’t do it anymore. Louis was in his car within seconds, but couldn’t remember where Zayn lived. He hadn’t been to the house since that first night, when things were fun and simple and Zayn wasn’t his whole life. He’d been weaving in and out of unfamiliar streets when he heard sirens. With complete and utter dread he followed an ambulance to a familiar house and could only watch as paramedics ran in and came back out with the limp and lifeless body of Zayn.


	9. Chapter 9

Niall really needed to get some new material. He woke Harry by blasting a song from outside of his bedroom. It had finally occurred to Harry to install a lock on his bedroom door so that at least Niall couldn’t get to him during sleep time.

“Harry!” Niall yelled, banging on the door. “I’ll break this door down I swear! Get your ass out here right now!” Harry genuinely was worried about the health of his door, so he forced his eyes open.

“What?” he growled as he came face to face with Niall.

“Ed Sheeran! That’s who Ed is!” Niall actually looked really mad, especially when Harry shrugged. “You know the guy who sings those songs? He’s famous Harry, and for good reason too. You and your moodiness are ruining my life!” he shrieked and stormed out of Harry’s small flat. Harry looked to the kitchen and frowned. There was no paper bag and coffee cup waiting for him.

“Niall, hang on.” He said as he left his apartment and chased Niall down the hall. The blonde started running to get to his apartment and close the door before Harry could get any closer. He didn’t count on Liam being home or hospitable enough to let Harry in. “So how am I ruining your life?” he asked, and Liam settled in to a chair to watch the fight.

“You ruined my chance to get in with some pretty awesome people, that’s how! Friends don’t ruin other friend’s chances to make new friends.”

“You can still be his friend you know.” Harry replied with a small smile. He couldn’t help it; Niall looked like he was going Super Saiyan with his tall blonde hair and red face. 

“Not when they don’t want anything to do with you. You are such a fucking dick.”

 

Harry really was, he knew it. He hadn’t always been one though.

Harry had been a pretty happy kid before the Eastenders stuff. He had loads of friends and he just had to smile and people would be giving him everything he wanted. It turned out to be a pretty dangerous skill though as he was such a smiley kid, sometimes he would smile at the wrong person. That’s how he got the role on the show, he’d just smiled at some lady in a shop who turned out to be a casting agent and who swore to Harry’s Mum that he could be a star. Harry had gone along to the audition because his Mum promised to buy him a Digimon. She didn’t really have much money, being a single mother and all, so getting a toy like that was a pretty big deal. 

He’d gone into a room and people asked him some questions, which his mother mostly answered for him. The casting agent had just told him to sit there and grin and nod every now and then. When they called up the following day to tell his Mum that Harry had got the part, she burst into tears. Harry had been pretty upset until she had promised him that it was because she was so happy, because things were going to change for them and she didn’t need to worry anymore. That made Harry smile; a real one this time. 

 

Things were better for them for a while. His Mum could buy them more things, and she wasn’t crying every night anymore. It was good because Harry didn’t have to sit through boring school anymore. He still got taught by a grumpy old lady but it was only for two hours and he got to do it with the other kids from the show. People were always really nice to him too, and they’d give him things when he asked for them. One time he asked for a certain kind of lolly and a boy went to the store to get it, just for him. That was pretty cool.

 

After a while though, things got really boring. Harry always had to do the same old things and he didn’t have any friends anymore so no one could ever come over and play. 

The man that played his Dad was really mean and scary. The people behind the cameras got mad at him sometimes, and they shouted when they were mad. He really started to hate the violin. They made him learn how to play it because it would look more realistic but he didn’t see the point in it. His character loved the violin, not him. Because he stopped liking the acting, he didn’t put much effort into it anymore. He ignored the directors when they told him what to do, and he started mucking up on purpose. It wasn’t long before they wrote him off the show.

 

It was harder for Harry to get back into normal life then his mother thought. He started High School and people had seen him on TV but instead of thinking it was cool, they made fun of him. He got called Devon all the time, even by some of the teachers, and sometimes he just really wanted to yell at everyone that he was Harry. They shouted when they talked to him, acting like he was deaf because that’s what he played. Sometimes they’d wave their hands around and ask Harry why he didn’t understand, they were speaking his language. Even though drama had always been his favourite subject, he didn’t do it anymore because he knew the bullying would be so much worse for him in that class.

Eventually he just stopped caring. He grew bored of their antics, and rolled his eyes when they tried to make fun of him. He learnt to walk away and stopped answering when people referred to him as Devon; his classmates found it funny when he wouldn’t answer the teachers if they said it. 

They started thinking he was pretty cool, especially when he was sixteen and the best looking boy in school and girls started being controlled by their hormones. Harry got asked out on dates all the time, and he was the first boy in their year to lose his virginity. It was to an older girl too. 

 

After school he’d moved to London and deleted his Facebook account so he never had to talk to any of those people again. They were just so beneath him. He met Niall when the boy knocked on the door to his flat, desperate for some loo paper. Harry joked that he wished he never gave some to the boy, because who knew that loo paper was also an invitation into one’s life? But really, he was just thankful that he finally had a real friend. Someone who didn’t care that he was in a show once, and had never given him shit for it, and who actually cared about him and what he wanted; even if Harry didn’t know or care himself.


	10. Chapter 10

Niall stopped waking Harry up and the curly haired boy never thought he’d miss it, but he did. He didn’t just miss the coffee and pastry that would be waiting for him in his kitchen. It was the closest Harry would get to waking up next to someone he loved, and without Niall, Harry was back to feeling as lonely as his first year out of Eastenders.

After a week he removed the lock on his door, and then started to leave his door wide open. Still, Niall probably didn’t even notice. He started to naturally wake up earlier, and Harry was now just pissed off at his body clock. He knew that it was because he was deep down waiting for Niall to come into his room blasting a song, or jump on his bed, or tickle him awake.

Two weeks later, and Harry woke with the shock of his life. His eyes had fluttered open, and the first thing he saw was Niall’s face, centimetres above his. Harry screamed and Niall burst into laughter, and Harry was filled up with warmth. Harry was grinning from ear to ear when Niall shoved a paper bag and a coffee in his hands.

“So I saw Nick today.” Niall said, snuggling down under the blankets next to Harry.

“Yeah?” Harry croaked.

“He said that he’s had a few phone calls from agents that want to contact you.”

“Seriously?”

“He’s told quite a few to fuck off, he admitted that, but he thought he better give you a few of their numbers. Guess the guy felt guilty.”

“Fuck.” Harry muttered.

“Yeah, I know.” Niall said, still grinning as he pulled out a small bit of paper covered in numbers from his pocket and handed it to Harry.

“Did he mention how the song is doing?” Harry asked. 

“As if you haven’t looked it up every day since it was released.” Niall laughed. The thought hadn't even occured to Harry, who hadn’t watched the clip since that first time, but he had been constantly checking it on YouTube, watching the view count rise and scrolling through the comments. “It’s been very well received by the critics, he said, and the song is getting loads of radio play. They’re saying it’s been as good for the gay community as Macklemore’s Same Love.”

“Shit.” 

“Yeah, I know. Louis’ been doing loads of radio interviews and stuff, you should check them out.”

“Yeah, alright.” Harry replied, and Niall crawled out of his bed. 

“I got to go, me and Liam are heading out. You want to come?”

“Yeah, okay.” Harry replied quickly. Before Niall left his room, Harry asked “So we’re good?”

“Yeah, Harry, we’re good.”

 

Harry did do some Googling, and found quite a lot of interviews with Louis. It was quite nice to hear Louis’ voice again, sounding as happy as ever, and Harry couldn’t help but smile as he listened to that familiar rambling. In every interview Louis was asked about the real story behind the song, and Louis would never give anything away. He would just talk about how he hoped it raised awareness about teenage depression and how hard it was for gay teens, but he never opened up about his personal story. 

Harry was surprised when one of the interviewers brought him up in conversation. They said that Harry was amazing and Louis said that the clip wouldn’t be as amazing as it was without him, and Harry didn’t realise a simple compliment could make him feel so good.

 

It was after a week of Niall’s nagging that Harry contacted the first agent on the list. When they promised to make Harry rich and famous, he hung up. The second one went on and on about his talent and how they knew someone in Eastenders and so could set up some kind of guest appearance on the show if he liked. That conversation didn’t end well. 

The third one, Harry quite liked. They spoke more about Harry’s potential, and how great he could be. This agent didn’t make promises or blow smoke up his ass, and Harry organised to meet with them the following day. 

 

The first thing they did was ask Harry what he wanted, and it was refreshing. 

“I want to do work that I can be proud of.” Harry told the agent. She wore a mauve pantsuit, which was interesting. She had black framed glasses and her hair was in a tight bun, but she pulled it off. 

“And what kind of work would that be?”

Harry couldn’t really come up with an answer for that. He wasn’t even sure that he wanted to get back into acting. He just knew that he didn’t want to be working at a bar for the rest of his life.

“Before you decide anything, I think you should think hard about what you want to do in this industry. I see you as a star in a TV show, something like Skins or Misfits, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to do much for you if you want to star in blockbusters straight off the bat.” She told him earnestly. “I have a few auditions in mind that I can send you to if you pick us, but go home and think carefully. It’s a big decision.” 

Harry did think carefully, but it didn’t take him long to decide that she was who he wanted to sign up with.


	11. Chapter 11

Harry had his first audition not even a week after signing up with the agency. It was a lot more nerve wracking then he could have anticipated, and by the time he got in there he’d forgotten all his lines after psyching himself out. He did so badly that the people weren’t even polite when they rejected him.

He had been heading from the audition to the train station when he decided to stop in at a small cafe for a coffee. It was a very trendy place, walls covered in murals and antique decor. When Harry was handed his coffee and he turned around, he spotted Louis sitting at a table alone, watching him with wide eyes. 

“Fuck.” Harry muttered under his breath, before plastering on a smile and striding over to the boy. “Hey Louis.” He said, and took the free seat at the table before he could be rejected.

“Hey.” Louis said with an unsure smile.

“How have you been?” 

Louis’ eyes flickered around the room, seemingly avoiding Harry at all costs. “Yeah, good. Yourself?’

“Alright. I just had an audition which was shit. You really did do me a massive favour with the music video job. I didn’t realise that til I actually tried getting an acting job. It’s near impossible.” Harry grinned and sipped from his coffee. It was a hundred times nicer than the coffee from Niall’s work.

“That’s alright. You did a really good job of it in the end.”

“Yeah, but it was still very risky of you, so thanks.”

Louis nodded and finally seemed to relax a bit. He actually looked at Harry, for starters. “So, how long have you been going to auditions for? I didn’t realise you wanted to get back into acting.”

“Today was my first one. A few agents got in contact with me after the clip, so I thought I might as well give it a shot. Your video shoot reminded me of how much I loved acting actually.”

“Yeah? That’s good. You really were incredible in it you know.” Louis told him earnestly, gaze meeting Harry’s.

“Cheers.” Harry grinned. “I’ve heard the song on the radio a few times now, how are you feeling about that?”

Louis frowned. “It’s weird. It even gets played on commercial stations and all this attention has jumped out of nowhere. I’m a bit scared actually, about how much and how fast this fame will grow.”

“Like the higher you get, the harder the landing?”

“Exactly.” Louis nodded vigorously. “I’m now getting nagged for my second album release. Not by the record label, they’re amazing. Just by people in interviews, and in write-ups in the papers.”

“Shit. You get recognised on the street yet?”

“A few times.” Louis laughed. “It’s been pretty funny actually. I’ve had a few marriage proposals, I think they missed that I’m gay.” As soon as Louis said it, his smile dropped and he looked carefully at Harry. 

Harry kept smiling and joked “Maybe they’re hoping they can turn you.”

“Maybe.” Louis muttered. He pulled out his phone and said something about the time, and before Harry knew it Louis was pushing himself up. “I better go, I got to be at the studio soon. Recording a new song today.” 

Harry frowned at how stiff Louis sounded, but stood up with him. “Alright, I better get going anyway. It was really good catching up with you.”

“Yeah.” Louis replied. “We’ll do it again?”

“Definitely.” Harry grinned. 

 

“Harry Styles?” a stranger said. Harry was in the grocery store, and he turned to face the small girl, still holding a jar of pasta sauce.

“Yes?”

“Can I get a picture with you?” she asked, and Harry cocked his head. The people that recognised him never knew his name, they just called him Devon.

“Yeah, sure. I’m crap at selfies so you’re going to have to take it.” Harry joked, and the girl laughed a lot harder and louder then was necessary. Harry put his arm around her and could feel her shaking, pressed to his side. She took the photo and Harry stepped away from her. “I think you’re amazing.” She added, and blushed profusely.

Harry smiled. “Thanks. You’re amazing.”

“No, but really, I was crying at the end. The song is just so haunting, you know, and you just looked like you were in so much pain. It was just really powerful. My friends love it to, they’re going to be so jealous that I met you.” She blabbered. Harry was thrilled to hear this praise for his work, but he was starting to worry that he wouldn’t be able to get rid of the girl. She continued on about how great he was, and how he’s a genius and Louis’ a genius, and does Harry know him in real life because if he did that would be, like, so cool. Harry turned back to the shelf and grabbed the first bag of pasta he’d seen. 

“I’ve got to go love, in a bit of a rush.” He interrupted her and rushed off to the registers. Running away was definitely Harry’s coping method of choice. When Harry loaded his few items on to the conveyor belt, he groaned. He’d grabbed bow tie pasta. He hated bow tie pasta.


	12. Chapter 12

Louis had walked out of the cafe on shaky legs, struggling to breathe. He’d tried to forget about Harry after their fight, reminding himself how awful Harry had been and how he would never like him back. He’d been on the way to it too (having Nick constantly bitch about Harry was a help) but seeing Harry just caused all those feelings to come crashing back. 

Over the last few weeks he’d convinced himself that Harry’s eyes weren’t that pretty and his grin was too arrogant and his hair was stupid. When Harry had walked past him, Louis just wanted to look into those eyes one more time and touch his hair and be the reason behind a smile on that perfect face. He was back to square one.

 

“What do you want to go there for?” Nick demanded when Louis suggested they go to Harry’s pub. 

He shrugged. “They have good potato wedges.” 

Ed grinned. “They really do. And their beer is actually pretty decent.” 

“If Harry’s there, we’re leaving.” Nick growled.

“No we aren’t.” Louis said, rolling his eyes.

Nick sighed in frustration. “Fuck it. I’m not having you over tonight afterwards though, I’ve heard enough about Harry and your heartbreak for one lifetime.”

“You should be happy I get into these situations. Then I have stuff to write songs about, and you’ll just ultimately make more money.” Louis joked, but Nick didn’t laugh.

“We’re friends first, that’s why I’m not happy. Christ, it’s like you’ve got a wish for death by heartbreak.” Nick added, muttering under his breath.

Nick really was a good friend, and had been since Louis’ first year of Uni. He’d been doing a business course, so when Louis got approached by a record label he thought his best friend would be a good fit as a manager. He’d definitely been right about that one.

 

Harry had been sitting on a bar stool when Louis and his friends walked in. There was practically no one else in the bar, so the curly haired boy was probably bored out of his mind. That had to be why he came bounding over to Louis when he noticed him sitting at a table with his friends. 

“Louis! Great to see you.” He beamed. 

“Laying it on a bit thick, aren’t you?” Nick muttered. Harry looked at him and blinked, before looking back to the singer.

“So what can I get you boys? Three beers on tap?”

“Yeah.” Ed and Louis both replied, but Nick grinned. “I’ll have the most fanciest cocktail you can make.”

“Awesome, I wanted something to do.” Harry said, grinning even wider and heading back to the bar.

Nick scrunched up his nose. “Well that’s not what I wanted.”

“So when did he start talking to you exactly?” Ed asked. “And are we meant to be nice to him now?”

“I ran into him yesterday, and yes you have to be nice now.”

“Did he apologise for being a prick?” Nick grunted.

“Not yet.” 

“Well I’m not being nice until he does.” Nick replied, and was that close to crossing his arms like a child.

“You weren’t exactly nice to him before.” Ed said with a small smile. It grew into a polite one when Harry dropped the beers off at their table before skipping back to the bar. “He on happy pills now or something?” Ed added. Louis was wondering the same thing.

 

When Harry came over with Nick’s ridiculous cocktail, he sat on the spare seat. “So what are you lads up to tonight?” he asked. 

“Just bar hopping, probably.” Ed replied. 

“Maybe go out to a club.” Louis added.

“You in the mood for dancing Louis?” Harry asked with a smile.

Louis had his mouth open about to reply when Nick jumped in. “He’s definitely in a mood, but not for dancing. If you know what I mean.” When Harry grimaced in confusion, he added “He wants sex is what I mean.”

Louis blushed red and had never wanted to punch Nick so hard. Harry smiled though and said “Well you should definitely go clubbing then. I’m sure someone will take you home.” And with a wink, he hopped off the chair and strode over to the bar to serve a customer that had been waiting. 

“You are such a fucking asshole.” Louis groaned, covering his face with his palm. “Why did you even do that?”

“Just wanted to make him uncomfortable.” Nick said with a shrug. “This is a really good drink.” He added with amazement, and Ed stole the glass to take a sip.

“You just made me uncomfortable too though.” Louis whined, and then stole the drink from Ed. It really was good, so Louis decided to keep it to punish Nick.

“Guess I better go up and get myself a beer then.” Nick said with a grin, and Louis could only watch wide eyed as Nick approached Harry.

Louis and Ed watched, and Louis had never wished for the ability to lip read until now. He could just make out that Nick was saying a lot and Harry was just blinking and listening, and nodding along occasionally. When Nick walked back to their table, he was smirking.

“What did you say then?” Ed asked with a small smile of his own.

“Just gave him a warning.” 

“What did you say though?” Louis begged.

“Just what will happen if he hurts you again.”

“If you’ve ruined this, I swear...”

“Ruined what exactly?” Nick interrupted.

Fuck, Louis really didn’t know how to answer that. He’d just assumed that him and Harry could go back to being something like friends, or whatever they were before. Nick was looking at him expectantly, so Louis said “My chance at getting a bowl of wedges.” Nick frowned and shook his head, but Ed just nodded along. He really wanted some wedges.


	13. Chapter 13

The pub really wasn’t doing well tonight, so Harry figured he could shut down early without getting on his boss’ bad side. It was only Louis and his mates left, so Harry suggested they all go somewhere else. 

“You want to come out with us?” Louis asked, voice laced with disbelief.

“Yeah, I’m sure Niall would too.”

“Nah, he’s got a date tonight.” Ed chimed in, and Harry wondered idly when he and Niall had got so chummy.

“Alright, so just me then. We can go anywhere.”

“Please not a gay bar.” Ed whined before Nick could say anything. “I want to go to that new club that opened down the road.”

“The Den it is.” Louis said with a small smile, and Harry grinned right back. 

 

It was a small place, and there was barely an inch of space between all the dancing bodies squeezed together. Harry walked straight up to the bar, lightly buzzed after sneaking drinks at work but not drunk enough.

He found the guys lumped together in a corner and approached them with a big grin, handing them the beers he bought. 

“How did you carry those?” Ed asked in awe.

“I’m a professional, aren’t I?” he replied with a grin.

“So spot anything you like Harry?” Nick asked in a bored voice, trying to make it as obvious as possible that he didn’t actually care. 

Harry realised he hadn’t actually looked around him, and still wasn’t bothered. Even though he’d been ridiculously horny and desperate over the last few days, he felt like nothing more than a night with Louis and his friends. “Haven’t spotted any girls, no.” Harry replied. “How about you?” he asked Ed, who was very obviously staring at a small brunette leaning against the bar, waiting to be served. 

“I’ll be right back.” Ed muttered, and Harry watched with a grin as Ed walked up to the girl.

“He won’t be.” Louis said, rolling his eyes.

Nick skulled his drink and announced “Let’s get dancing then.”

They squeezed themselves amongst the throng of grinding sweaty bodies and tried to fit in to their rhythm. Harry felt a body slot behind him and turned to smile and shake his head at the girl who had just pinched his ass. 

He had to reject a lot of girls all night, a lot more than usual. He would have been annoyed that it was when he wasn’t trying that he got the most attention, but he couldn’t be bothered at that point. He was having too much fun with Louis, and even Nick was proving himself to be quite a laugh. 

While Harry had been groped all night, it was nothing compared to the attention Louis got. Girls were all over him, and Harry had to laugh at how uncomfortable he looked. Quite a few of the girls towered over Louis in there giant heels, and Louis looked terrified. 

“I need a drink.” Harry yelled over the music, and grabbed Louis’ hand before dragging them away from the dance floor. When they were waiting at the bar, a small group of girls approached them. 

“Sorry to do this, but we were wondering if we could get a photo with you both.” One asked gently. 

“Of course.” Harry replied with a grin, and pulled Louis flush to his side. “Gather round, then.” He slurred, and the girls giggled as they rushed to be the one that stood at either boy’s other side. After the photo, they all thanked them and hurried off, not wanting to be a bother. 

“That was nice.” Harry said simply, and Louis scrunched up his nose.

“I hope it doesn’t get to be anymore than this though.”

“Guess we’ll see.” Harry replied with a shrug. They sat at a free table, which they had to race to after a group had left it, and settled down onto the high chairs.

“So you’re having fun?” Louis asked in a rather shy voice.

“Yeah, a lot actually. You?” 

“Loads. Just think I might head home soon.”

Harry probably wouldn’t have asked if he wasn’t so drunk, but he leaned over the table and asked anyway. “Can I come back to yours tonight?”

Louis eyed Harry carefully before nodding. “Yeah, I guess. After this drink.”

 

Harry stumbled into Louis’ apartment after the older boy, laughing loud at his big feet and how they wouldn’t do what he wanted them to. The alcohol had hit him at some point during the taxi ride, and it hit hard. He steadied himself against the bench in the kitchen, and took in Louis’ small flat. It was nice, a lot nicer then Harry’s, but not as nice as he had expected of a professional singer. 

He must have said it out loud, because Louis laughed and said “I’m not famous enough for much more just yet.”

“Come here.” Harry slurred, rubbing the bench next to him. Louis approached slowly, and Harry picked him up and put him on the bench. He was amazed at how much of his hands covered Louis’ hips, and was just staring when Louis cleared his throat. Harry looked up and grinned. 

“So...” Louis said, and it came out close to a whisper.

Harry smiled at the blush that was spreading over Louis’ cheeks, and felt the heat under his thumb. He then traced it up to Louis’ eyes and gently closed one, running it over his eyelashes and fanning them out.

“You have long eyelashes.” Harry stated, moving his thumb back down to rest on his cheekbone and cupping the rest of his fingers underneath Louis’ jaw. When Louis’ eyes flickered open, Harry grumbled in a voice from deep down in his throat “I never realised your eyes were so blue, too.”

“Yeah.” Louis breathed out, and Harry hadn’t realised how close they were until hot breath hit his face. Harry looked down and realised that his other hand was resting on Louis’ thigh, and his hips were slotted between Louis’ legs, and Louis’ legs were wrapped around his hips. 

Harry grinned before looking back up into Louis’ eyes, then slowly leaned down to press his lips against Louis’.


	14. Chapter 14

Louis could not believe what was happening. Harry was gripping his face and kneading his thigh and his tongue was searching his mouth desperately. Louis would have been in heaven if it weren’t for the fact that Harry tasted like beer and nothing more. Harry was clearly drunk, he wouldn’t be doing this if he wasn’t, but Louis wasn’t sure if he wanted to stop it or if he even could. Harry tilted his head and reached his tongue in further, and Louis lost all sense of reasoning. It was no longer a fight to stop; now it was just a fight to keep up. 

The hand that had been squeezing Louis’ thigh was now moving round to his lower back, creeping up his shirt. The hand that had been holding his chin was now sliding down Louis’ chest to join the other one, and Louis cupped Harry’s head and tangled his hands in his hair, scared that the contact would break now that Harry’s hand wasn’t resting so surely on his cheek. Louis whimpered when Harry slid his hands under Louis’ thighs and lifted him up, and they were moving. Louis didn’t know where to and he didn’t really care. He moved one of his hands from Harry’s hair to trace down his arm, feeling the muscles that were bulging and straining to hold Louis up. It was such a fucking turn on; Louis loved being manhandled. 

He felt himself bump hard against a wall, and Harry groaned “Where the fuck is your room?”

Louis looked around him for the first time and pointed wordlessly to a door. Harry’s lips were on his again as he was carried. He missed the feeling of the wall against his back and Harry pressed so tight against his crotch, but he decided that his bed was better when Harry dropped him on to it and started crawling up his body. 

“Tell me you have condoms.” Harry muttered against his lips, and Louis nodded vigorously. Shit, this was actually going to happen. “Thank fuck.” Harry groaned and was pulling off his shirt. Louis rushed to do the same as Harry’s fingers tugged at his fly. He struggled to pull Louis’ jeans off, and muttered something about how it would be much easier if Louis was in a skirt.

Louis didn’t have time to let the words bother him, because Harry was tugging his own pants off and more and more of that beautiful pale skin was being revealed to him. Harry’s lips were on his neck, sucking and licking as his hands ran up Louis’ chest and dug into his abs. Louis’ hands were running up and down Harry’s spine, drawing out soft moans from the boy above him. With a groan, Harry was pulling their underwear off and Louis reached underneath Harry to grip his hard leaking dick. Harry’s breath hitched and he started sucking at Louis’ lips with a new fervour. 

“Fuck, condoms.” Harry groaned. “Where are they?” 

Louis reached out to the bedside table, opening a draw as he struggled to ignore Harry’s persistent lips and teeth grazing against his jaw. He finally found one and shoved it into Harry’s hand, and the boy immediately ripped it open and rolled it on.

“You need lube too.” Louis muttered, and Harry tilted his head.

“Right. Uh, what do I do with that?” 

“You’ve got to open me up a bit. With your fingers. I can do it if you like.” 

“Yeah, okay.” Harry nodded, and watched as Louis searched for lube in the draw. Louis still felt Harry’s eyes piercing into him as he squeezed some of the liquid onto his fingers and pressed one inside himself. Louis crawled up onto his knees and watched Harry watching him, perched on the end of the bed and not quite sure what to do with himself. Louis smiled reassuringly and Harry grinned back, cheeks flushed and puffy lips red. 

“I want to do it.” he suddenly said, and without word Louis was pushing the bottle of lube into Harry’s hand.

Harry lathered his fingers up and crawled over to Louis. “Can you get on your hands and knees?” he asked gently, and Louis did as he was told. He whimpered when Harry pushed a finger slowly inside him. “That okay?” Harry asked.

“Fuck yes.” Louis moaned, and Harry laughed a deep laugh that reverberated down Louis’ spine. “Another.” Louis breathed, and he was ready to beg before he felt a second of Harry’s fingers slide in against the first. 

“What now?” Harry asked. 

“Just fuck me with them.” Louis groaned, and he could hear Harry’s breath hitch.

“Fuck, okay.” he replied, and started to push them in and out of Louis, speeding up the tempo and sliding in a third, knuckle grazing Louis’ prostate and making him keen.

“Get them out. Get your dick in me.” Louis demanded, and Harry didn’t have to be told twice.

He slowly pushed his way inside Louis, and started to rock his hips experimentally. “Fuck, you’re so tight.” he groaned. 

“Move.” Louis begged, and Harry started moving in and out, fingers digging into Louis’ hips as his own hips snapped forward. 

“Fuck Louis.” Harry moaned and the way he said his name, all breathy and lustful, tipped Louis over the edge. He came with a shout, come shooting onto his sheets and chest, dick untouched. His ass muscles clenched around Harry, and the younger boy moaned deliciously. He rode through Louis’ aftershocks, enjoying the spasms Louis’ tight heat were supplying him, and came with a loud groan that was enough to peak Louis’ dick’s interest again. 

“Holy shit.” Harry said as he flopped down on the bed next to Louis. 

“Yeah.”

“Seriously though, wow.”

“That’s ass sex for you.” Louis joked, and Harry turned to him and grinned. He looked down at Louis chest and started to trace his finger through the come pooled on his skin. 

“I’ve never tasted come you know. Well, guys' I mean.” He added with a soft smile. “Not even my own.” He added, and stared into Louis’ eyes before taking two fingers in his mouth and sucking. 

Louis watched wide eyed and asked breathily “What do you think?”

“It’s not so bad.” Harry replied with a grin, and leaned in to press his lips firmly against Louis’. “Not bad at all.”


	15. Chapter 15

Louis wasn’t surprised when he woke up alone in his bed. The only evidence of the night before actually happening was the nakedness of Louis, the dried come on his chest and the tied discarded condom on the floor. The sight of it annoyed Louis; it was very inconsiderate of Harry to leave it there, but Louis knew he shouldn’t have expected anything else. Harry was inconsiderate, that was that. 

He’d been muttering to himself, wiping at the dried come with a dirty sock, when he walked into his kitchen and stopped. Harry was standing there, naked and grinning at him.

“Hey mate. How do you like your eggs?” Harry asked. 

Louis opened his mouth, closed it, and opened it again. He still couldn’t get any words out. 

“Boiled it is then.” Harry said. “That’s how I like mine. With soldiers, just like how my Mum made.”

“Yeah.” Louis said simply. He couldn’t think of anything else to say.

“I made a pot of tea too. That teapot was fucking dirty, I had to leave it to soak and everything.”

“It’s from my Mum. I never used it before.” Louis replied, pushing himself up to sit on the bench and blushing when he remembered the events of last night, in this exact place. “So, how long have you been up for?” Louis watched as Harry poured him some tea in a little saucer and smiled politely when he handed it over. 

“About an hour maybe. I didn’t really want to wake you up, but I knew I shouldn’t have left until you woke up. I’ve already been a dick once.” He added with an awkward smile. “If I left, would have seemed like I was scared or something.”

Louis noted the blush spreading on Harry’s cheeks, the one he was trying to hide, before he asked “How come you’re not scared this time?”

Harry didn’t look at him, instead focusing intently on buttering some toast. “I’ve just been thinking. Like, sex is sex isn’t it? It’s never been a big deal to me so why should I let sex with a guy be different? And you’re not just a guy, you’re Louis.” He added, turning briefly to grin at him. “We’re mates, so this doesn’t have to be a big deal, yeah? We can be mates and fuck and it will all be good.” 

Louis blinked. It sounded like Harry was planning on them doing it again. Louis had to try his hardest to resist the urge to dance around the room. Not only was Harry in his kitchen, making him breakfast, but he was saying that they’ll fuck again. Sure, it wasn’t the ideal situation Louis wanted, but maybe he could get Harry out of his system this way.

“Louis?” Harry asked carefully, and the older boy wondered how long Harry had been watching him, teeth worrying his bottom lip. “We will be good, yeah?”

“Yeah, of course.” Louis replied with a fake grin, and Harry returned it with a real one; his widest yet. 

 

Louis was lazing on the couch when Nick came barging into the flat. Harry had left a few hours ago in high spirits and with a promise from Louis that he’d be at the bar tonight. 

“They want you to do a live session on Radio 1.” Nick puffed, sounding like he’d run all the way here from his flat.

“Yeah?” Louis asked, grin splitting his face in two. 

“Yeah. They want you to sing two songs and do a ten minute interview.” Nick said, grabbing Louis’ cheeks and planting a sloppy kiss on his lips. “Do you know what this means? A fucking lot is what it means!”

“Wow.”

“Yeah, wow. One million wows. This is going to blow you right up Louis. The live session will be in peak time and everything. Do you know how many people will be listening to you? Christ, I don’t even know. Millions, billions even.”

“I doubt that Nick.” Louis joked. “Wow, Radio 1.” He muttered to himself. He couldn’t believe it. The stations he’d been interviewed on so far were small University ones, and once on Radio 6. 

“They want to talk about the usual; your song and your past and your success. I’ll bet a million dollars that they’ll ask about your sexuality.”

Louis rolled his eyes. “Obviously, they always want to know about that.”

“Do you reckon you should talk about Zayn?” Nick asked, and Louis met the eyes of his best friend and noted that they were watching him carefully, like he was made of glass.

“I’ll think about it, okay?”

“Don’t you think it’ll do so much for your cause? You want to raise awareness for teen depression and the hardship gay teens go through, and I just think telling Zayn’s story would just do so much more. People would respond to that, to have a name and face behind the lyrics of your song.”

“I said I’ll think about it.” Louis muttered. He knew Nick was right, but he didn’t know if he was ready. He was scared; of what people would say or think, and if they would blame Louis too. And Zayn: he wouldn't want this. He wouldn't want everyone to know, that was the reason he'd died after all. But what was more important, honoring his friend or helping those that were living with the problem that Zayn had been unable to cope with?


	16. Chapter 16

The answer to Louis’ internal moral dilemma was given to him in the end. The interview was running overtime already, and they had only spoken a lot about Louis’ upcoming album and his recent success. The interviewer was from his hometown, so she wasted a lot of time talking about that. Louis knew he didn’t like her when she brought up Harry.

“So I have a picture here of you and the star of your video looking quite intimate. Want to share with us about that one?” she asked, in a voice that Louis thought was far too annoying for radio. People actually listened to her talk?

After looking at the picture, Louis replied “We’re just friends, and we were at a club. Fans just asked us for a picture, so we got one.” He shrugged noncommittally, but the radio host didn’t take the hint. 

“So just friends then?” she asked, sounding patronising and Louis just knew she was the type to make a big deal out of nothing. “That hand around your waist looks awfully tight.”

“I was wasted, he was holding me up.” He replied. 

“You a big drinker then?” she asked, and Louis was thankful that she took the bait. It was more crap like that that she was interested in; just surface issues and gossip. Louis knew that this was not someone he wanted to tell his deepest darkest secret to. 

 

“So that was not what I expected.” Nick said as soon as Louis left the studio.

“She was a dickhead; I wasn’t going to tell her anything.” Louis told him quickly.

“Yeah, good choice with that one.” Nick replied with a grimace.

“I’m going to Harry’s tonight, you in?” Louis asked. They’d all taken to calling the bar Harry’s, none of them ever having noticed the actual name of the place.

“Yeah, if Ed is. And Niall, I haven’t seen him in a while.”

 

The whole gang ended up at Harry’s, even Niall, and Louis was actually quite happy that the Irish boy had made it. He was full of the usual compliments for Louis, and right now it was just what he needed. Since the interview, he felt like he copped out from telling Zayn’s story, like he’d made excuses because in the end he was just too weak. But before Louis even said anything, Niall came storming through the bar entrance, face red and teeth clenched.

“That woman was a right bitch. How could you not have slapped her in the face?” Niall asked. “Wait, I’m getting us drinks. We need drinks after that.” And he stormed off to the bar. Louis liked how Niall said ‘we’, like he genuinely was insulted by the woman as much as he and Nick were. Nick grinned like he was thinking the same thing.

“You good Niall?” Ed asked with a wide smile when the Irish man returned to the table with a jug of beer and glasses.

He nodded at Ed in acknowledgement before looking to Louis. “Seriously though, fuck her. You were there to talk about you, not all her favourite places in Doncaster.”

“Your set was really good though.” Ed added with an encouraging smile.

Niall’s face lit up. “Yeah, it was! Seriously amazing, and that second song too. I’ve never heard it before, is that a new one for the album?”

“Fuck, you didn’t even get to say that? We better put that up on twitter or something.” Nick said before Louis could get out a response. He was able to nod to Niall though as Nick rambled on.

Louis felt a hand on his shoulder and he spun to see a smiling Harry. His dimples were on full force, and the effect left Louis a bit startled.

“Congrats man, great interview.” Harry said, and Louis could feel the frowns of the people behind him.

“It really wasn’t, but thanks.”

“Why, what happened?” Harry asked with a grimace.

“Of course you didn’t listen to it.” Nick muttered under his breath.

“Well, I had work didn’t I?” Harry scowled.

“Uh, nothing happened. The interviewer was just a bit of an idiot.” Louis muttered.

“Understatement of the century!” Niall said, way too loud.

“Sorry Lou.” Harry said, reaching out to pat his back. His hands were big and warm, and Louis missed the touch before it even left. “Come back to mine tonight yeah? Everyone I mean. We can get pissed and just hang out. There’s got to be a game on or something.” He added, looking to Niall who nodded. That boy seemed to have the whole football game timetable in his head. “Perfect. I finish at ten; we’ll make a night of it.”

“Yeah, alright.” Louis muttered, even though it was the last thing he felt like doing.

 

Louis finally got to meet Liam that night. Harry’s friend dropped in with his girlfriend Danielle, who was stunning, and a few of her friends.

He watched in jealousy as Harry kissed all of the beautiful girls’ cheeks, paying special attention to a blonde, before sitting back down on the ground beside Niall. As Danielle introduced all of her friends to them, Louis couldn’t help but notice how Niall blushed when she said the name ‘Jade’. 

“So you’re Louis then?” Liam asked as he took the only free bit of space on the couch, pulling Danielle into his lap. “I’ve seen the song, you have an amazing voice.”

Louis blushed before thanking the boy.

“You really do.” Danielle chimed in. “I’ve actually bought your album now, we all have.” she added with a beautiful smile, and all of her tiny pretty friends nodded along in encouragement. He wished they weren’t being so nice so he didn’t feel guilty about hating them.

“Thanks.” Louis muttered again. “So what do you all do?”

“We’re dancers.” Jade said. God, they were killing him.

“Cool. Umm, what kind?” he asked, and he was half expecting them to say ‘exotic dancers’ because such was his luck.

“We’re in a troupe. We get hired for videos and stage shows and stuff.” The blonde, Perrie, said. 

“Wow. That’s, uh, really cool.” Louis said, and the girls all beamed at him. There was too much beaming going on, he decided. He looked to Harry, who was watching him with an expression that Louis just couldn’t get a read on.

“So, Louis had an interview on Radio 1 today.” Harry said, and he sounded proud.

“Yeah, I did.” Louis said with a smile to rival the girls’. 

“That’s amazing Louis!” Liam said sincerely. “How was it?”

“Shit.” Nick and Niall said together.

“She didn’t give Louis the attention he deserved.” Niall huffed.

Liam smiled knowingly. “Is that so Niall?”

“Yeah. She was such a tit, I swear. Find it online, you’ll see.” 

Louis could have sworn he was in love with Niall at that moment. But then Harry made a noise of agreement, and stole Louis’ heart right back. 

“So we’re going out tonight if you boys want to come?” the fourth girl, Jesse, asked and stared too long at Harry for Louis’ liking.

“Nah, not tonight girls.” Harry said, and reached over to squeeze Louis’ knee. “We’re having a lads’ night.”


	17. Chapter 17

Harry had never felt so uncomfortable in his own home. Nick was constantly sending him dirty looks, which he pretended not to notice, and even Ed was watching him warily. Niall hadn’t paid him any attention, and Louis looked like he was about to burst into tears. Harry had no idea how to talk to any of them; especially since they were all still talking about that damn interview which Harry never listened to and so couldn’t contribute to the conversation. He could have thrown in a ‘that bitch’ every now and then, he supposed, but they all already knew that he didn’t know what he was talking about. He could imagine the face Nick would pull. It actually made Harry consider saying ‘that bitch’ so he could test his imagination; just for a bit of fun. 

Harry allowed himself a moment to wish that he had gone out with the girls, but mentally slapped himself. He was trying to be a better person, and good people didn’t walk out on their friends when they were feeling shitty. He wondered if it would be made worse because they slept together; it was weird just thinking about it. 

Were they going to sleep together again tonight? Did he want to? Is that what Louis wanted? When Harry was feeling shit, he usually loved to have sex. Unless it was an exhausted kind of shit, then he just wanted to sleep. He decided to find out what kind of shit Louis was feeling. Then he could help either way; that’s what a good friend would do, wouldn’t they?

 

They were all out of beers, having gone through Harry’s fridge and Niall’s fridge. Apparently, Liam kept a stash of spirits somewhere but Niall said it was hidden too well. 

“It’s probably in his mattress, like what millionaires do with their money.” Niall had slurred, and Harry drunkenly believed him. He could definitely see Liam doing that.

“I got some wine Mum gave me as a house warming gift.” Harry told them all. They were all lying in the lounge, watching midnight game shows just because there was nothing better to do.

“You moved in like a year ago.” Niall grumbled. He looked like he was about to nod off.

“Doesn’t wine get better with age?” Harry asked Nick; obviously he would know because he was the oldest. 

“Don’t look at me, I hate wine. I’ll drink it though.” he said with a grin. It felt quite nice, Harry decided, to be at the receiving end of Nick’s grin.

“Alright, we’ll drink it anyway.” Harry laughed, and everyone joined in; just because it felt like the appropriate thing to do. 

 

By three a.m., everyone but Harry and Louis were fast asleep on the rug. 

“’m tired.” Louis slurred, and Harry picked the smaller boy up and cradled him in his arms. 

“Bed time then?” Harry asked. When Louis grinned up at him, and his warm breath hit Harry’s jaw, Harry tripped on a rug and nearly dropped the boy in his arms. Louis giggled, and Harry smiled, and they both flopped down on the big bed together. 

“What do you want to do?” Harry asked.

“I... sleep?” it came out like a question, which made Harry frown.

“You don’t know or something?”

“I’m tired. Just, it feels like I should take the opportunity while I have it.” Louis muttered, and Harry noticed he was bright red. Had Louis been that flushed all night from the alcohol, or was he blushing just now?

“Opportunity for what?”

“To, you know, have sex.” Louis whispered it under his breath, like he was a kid saying a swear word.

“We’ll have sex tomorrow if you want? Unless we’re too busy throwing up on ourselves.” Harry joked. They definitely weren’t having sex now, Harry thought, because that image was such a mood killer.

“Yeah?” Louis asked hopefully.

“Yeah, if you still want to.” Harry replied with a shrug.

“I guess we’ll see.” Louis said with a smile. 

After what felt like hours of silence, but was probably only a minute, Harry asked “Am I a good friend?”

“Hmm?” Louis mumbled, turning back over to face Harry and blink his eyes awake. Maybe it actually had been hours.

“I’m not a good person, but I’m trying.” Harry admitted. 

“You are a good person already.” Louis assured him. 

“’m not. I fucked you over, I fucked Niall over. I didn’t listen to your interview, I’m sorry.” Harry mumbled, struggling to keep his eyes open now so just resting them shut.

“’sfine.” Louis slurred. “Better you didn’t in the end.”

“Cause of the bitch?”

“Yeah. You wouldn’t have liked it when she brought us up too.”

“Why?” Harry asked, actually managing to force his eyes open. It was a struggle, but he did it.

“She asked if we were intimate. I said no, cause you don’t think you’re gay. And you don’t want people to know cause it’s embarrassing and your ashamed. It’s okay though, you’re not gay. But you have gay sex but you’re not gay.”

“I’m not ashamed.” Harry said with a grimace. Louis couldn’t see it though, his eyes were clenched tight. Harry pushed Louis over so that the small boy was facing opposite him and wrapped an arm around, clinging to his waist. He pulled Louis to fit against him, back to chest and ass to crotch. Louis’ knees were tucked up so Harry slotted his legs right behind them, like they were two puzzle pieces slotting together. “You’re nothing to be ashamed of Louis.” He muttered into the other boy’s neck, but Louis’ soft snores were the only reply he got.


	18. Chapter 18

Harry woke to the feeling of wet heat around his dick, and his eyes flew open.

“Niall!” he cried as he pulled the blanket up over his head, sighing out in relief when he realised it was Louis’ mouth around him.

“Should I be worried that Niall’s name has been the first thing you’ve said both times I’ve been in your bed?” Louis asked, smile evident in his voice.

“He’s just the only one who wakes me up usually.” Harry explained, and ran his fingers through Louis’ hair to remind him what he was down there for. Louis took the hint and Harry moaned when he felt Louis’ mouth encase him.

Harry opened his legs up wider, clenching the sheets with his hands and arching his head back. Fuck, but Louis was good at this.

“Hey!” Harry cried out when he felt a finger at his asshole. Louis ignored him and pushed it in. “Nonono.” Harry said quickly, pushing himself away so that he was now sitting up against the headboard. A girl had tried that once, aggressively and with long sharp nails, so excuse Harry for not wanting a finger up his ass. 

“It’ll be really good, I promise.” Louis said quickly, and Harry nodded when he saw how genuine the caramel haired boy’s expression was. 

Harry clenched his eyes shut and tried as hard as he could to relax, but it was a bit hard when a digit was threatening to enter his body, curling around the rim of his ass. A finger entered him slowly, just as Louis sucked hard at the head of his cock, and it wasn’t too bad. There had to be a reason why guys liked stuff up there. He wasn’t innocent, obviously, but Harry hadn’t exactly googled gay sex and ass fingering wasn’t something he talked about with his mates or watched in porn. Maybe he should google it, if this was going to – “Fuck.” Harry groaned, and his whole body jolted with pleasure. “What was that?” he asked breathily.

Louis pulled off with a pop and grinned. “This?” he asked innocently as he rubbed the spot inside him again, and Harry groaned and tightened the grip he had of Louis’ hair.

“Yes, yes yes.” He muttered, barely coherent. “That, what the fuck was that?”

“That is the prostate.” Louis said, sounding pleased with himself. Harry was ready to say something snarky back but Louis just had to rub it again. After Louis returned his mouth to Harry’s dick, sucking with a new fervour, Harry was done for. A few sucks and rubs later, he was coming on Louis’ face.

“Fuck, sorry.” Harry muttered, rubbing his face with the hand that wasn’t knotted into Louis’ hair. “I didn’t expect that.” He added, looking down to where Louis was lapping up his come, like he loved the taste. That was a sight Harry could get used to.

“It’s fine.” Louis muttered between licks, and once satisfied he crawled back up the bed with a pleased smirk. Harry grinned back before noticing the raging hard on that Louis was sporting. 

“Do I need to do something about that?” Harry asked carefully. He wasn’t sure what he was offering, but he just wanted to help. 

“If you want?” Louis asked, and he sounded so hopeful that Harry couldn’t really say no; especially after the boy had just given him the best blow job he’d ever had. 

“Alright. Just, with my hand though.” Harry told him, and proceeded to reach down Louis’ pants. He watched Louis intently as he wrapped his hand around the dick and slowly started to pump it. Louis’ eyes were closed, his breathing ragged, and when Harry twisted his hand on the upstroke Louis’ eyes flashed open to look at Harry. Harry grinned and did it again, and Louis’ eyelids fluttered as his mouth dropped open in a silent scream. “Good?” Harry asked with a smirk. He couldn’t resist; he wanted to hear Louis’ voice, ragged from what Harry was doing to him.

“Yeah. Really good.” Louis groaned, and Harry sped up his hand. 

“Like this?”

“Yeah.” Louis’ breath hitched. “Like that. ‘s perfect.” 

Without thought, Harry pressed his lips against Louis’ neck and started to suck at the skin. He licked with the pad of his tongue and could feel with his mouth the groan Louis let out from deep in his throat as he came. Harry stroked him through the aftershocks as his lips finally pressed against Louis’. 

“Best wakeup a guy could have.” Harry mumbled.

“Better not tell Niall that.” Louis joked, and Harry felt Louis’ smile against his.


	19. Chapter 19

Harry had been in the middle of counting the freckles on Louis’ shoulder when his phone beeped. With a groan and an internal promise to himself that he would finish counting them soon, he grabbed his phone and read the message.

“Fuck. I got an audition today.” Harry grumbled, taking in the details that his agent had just texted him. He’d completely forgotten about it, so was thankful for the reminder. 

“What for?”

“A TV show. It’s for a teenage drug addict so it’s probably good I look this shitty after last night, huh?” Harry joked, climbing out of bed and locating some clothes to change in to. “I’m just getting a shower, I’ll be out in a minute.” Harry added to Louis. He felt the need to reassure him that he wasn’t just going to run off again, and it made him feel crap. If Harry had been a nice guy in the first place, he wouldn’t have to explain himself and his movements. 

Harry walked out into the lounge, noting the bodies of his friends still on the floor, dead to the world. He grinned at how silly they looked; Nick’s head on Ed’s stomach, and Ed hugging Niall’s leg like it was a teddy bear. 

By the time he came out of the shower, hair washed and body scrubbed clean, all of the lads were up and sitting around the table. Louis had managed to whip up a big batch of scrambled eggs, and Harry wasn’t sure if he had just had a ridiculously long shower or if Louis was an egg-making-professional.

“Alright?” Niall asked as he took a seat beside the blonde.

“Yeah, got that audition today which I totally forgot about.” Harry replied as he piled some eggs onto the toast that Louis had buttered for him.

“Well you look the part." Niall joked, and Harry rolled his eyes. Niall had the tendency to come up with the exact same jokes as Harry did, and it made the curly haired boy wonder if they were spending too much time together. 

 

In the audition, it was pretty clear that they liked the way he looked as soon as he walked into the room. They all sat up noticeably straighter in their chairs and muttered something to each other that Harry couldn’t quite catch. He had to do a reading with another girl, who he later found out was called Eleanor. She’d already got the part of the sweet and innocent girl who falls for the bad boy or some other cliché, so she was doing all of the auditions with the newbies to “test the chemistry”, she’d said. Eleanor was very pretty and sweet, and Harry got her number. He found himself inviting her to the bar that night, but wasn’t really sure why. He never really saw girls outside of clubs or his bedroom. 

 

Harry had been listening in to a conversation between Ed and Niall about pub food, seemingly a very delicate issue for the both of them, when Eleanor had entered the bar. Her face lit up when she spotted the group of boys and she rushed over to them. She hugged Harry like they’d known each other for years, which usually annoyed him, and plopped down on a bar stool between him and Louis. 

“Oh wow! You’re Louis Tomlinson. And you’re Ed Sheeran!” she suddenly cried, grabbing the boys’ hands. “I love your music.” She added sincerely, and Ed gave her a warm smile but Louis just glared. It changed his whole face, and Harry definitely preferred him when he was smiling. “I saw you in Louis’ music clip Harry, and I showed quite a lot of people that I work with.”

“So that's how I got the audition. I thought my agent was just doing her job.” Harry joked, and Eleanor giggled sweetly.

“No, it was just a big conspiracy of mine so that I can meet the beautiful Louis.” She whispered loudly behind her hand. She was very theatrical, but Harry liked it. 

“What’s your favourite song then?” Niall asked, and Harry wouldn’t be surprised if Niall was testing her. He didn’t like to share, and would have prided himself on being the group’s Louis fan.

“ ‘Like Clockwork’ would be my favourite. Or just anything on your first album, really.” She said to Louis, who gave her a small smile in return. Pretty much the rest of the evening was just Eleanor talking to Louis and Ed about their music, and Harry actually didn’t mind. He didn’t invite Eleanor out with the intention of taking her home, which had surprised him when he figured it out. He thought that she was nice, and would get along with Niall pretty well, and not once had he thought about kissing her. When she gripped Louis’ hand and ran off with him for a while, Harry didn’t even care. He was quite happy about it actually, because maybe then Louis would get to know her and not give her anymore dirty looks, which he’d been shooting her all night even though she had been nothing but nice. Even Harry knew that was rude, and no one ever outdid him at being impolite.

When she skipped back from the bar with Louis’ hand in hers, the boy looked a bit dazed and had a small smile on his face. They must have worked things out. 

“I think that me and Louis and you, Harry, should go out for dinner tomorrow night.” Eleanor announced. “I want to get to know you both some more, especially if I’m going to be working with you.” She added as an explanation. She didn’t really need one; Harry would have gone either way.

“Alright, sounds good. Niall, you want to go?”

“No, he doesn’t.” She said, shooting the Irish boy a look that had him closing his mouth back up, swallowing whatever his answer was. “Just us.” 

“Alright.” Harry replied, and sent Louis a questioning look. The boy just shrugged and looked away.

“Good.” Eleanor said with pure glee, letting Louis’ hand go to clap hers together. “It’s a date.”


	20. Chapter 20

Louis was concentrating very hard on breathing as he waited for Harry in the restaurant. It had all been Eleanor’s idea, and Louis still had no idea why he went along with it. He barely knew her, and she barely knew Harry, so why on earth did he trust her?

She’d pulled him aside the night before, and the first thing she asked was “How long have you liked him for?”

Louis stuttered out a ‘what are you talking about?’ but she just had to raise her eyebrow and he was spilling everything. How he’d liked Harry since the day they met in that bar, how Harry had freaked out when Louis expressed his interest via a drunken blow job, how they’d since become friends again with a bit of sex thrown in. He admitted that it was enough for Harry but not for him, and that he was starting to feel ashamed that he was encouraging others to come out but was so hung up on someone that may not even be attracted to him or the male gender. 

“He likes you, I can tell.” Eleanor had said. Louis would have been annoyed, considering he’d just blurted out all this stuff and her reply was about two seconds long, but she just looked so sincere and kind, and it was exactly what he wanted to hear.

“How?”

“I just know these things. It’s all in the eyes.” She added with a grin. “They barely left you, and when they did it was with regret that they weren’t on you for that little bit longer.”

“You got that from a script or something didn’t you?” Louis asked, fully serious but unable to hide his grin, despite how much his cheeks were aching from the force of it.

“Nope, your love inspires me.” Eleanor laughed. “Seriously though, you guys are going on a date tomorrow. My treat.”

“He doesn’t date.”

“He won’t know it’s a date then.” She replied. Despite the way his stomach was tying itself in knots, Louis nodded.

 

So here he was, going on a date with a boy who didn’t know it was a date. Louis had already unfolded and folded all of the napkins at least six times, was on his third glass of water and had looked through the menu without actually reading any of it twice. Then Harry showed up, and Louis’ breath got caught somewhere between his lungs and his throat.

Harry walked in with brows furrowed, and when he caught sight of Louis a smile lit up his face. Louis grinned and suddenly he could breathe again. 

“Hey.” Louis said, standing up as Harry got to the table. 

“A real gentleman, aren’t you?” Harry joked as he took the only other seat. “Sucks that Eleanor couldn’t make it huh?”

“Yeah. Do you know why?” Louis cleared his throat and looked over Harry’s shoulder when he asked. He was just so shit at lying.

“Nah, didn’t ask. But she told me I got the job which is pretty wicked.”

“Wow, Harry that’s amazing!” Louis said with a grin. “I knew you’d get it though, I had a feeling.”

“Thanks.” Harry smiled back, dimples and all. “I kind of thought so too, to be honest. I saw my contenders before my audition, and they were all about half my size.” He laughed. “So what are we getting?”

“Uh, I haven’t decided.” 

“Alright.” Harry said simply and picked up the menu. It took him about four seconds to decide, and Louis was still struggling to get past the entrees. “I’ll pick for you then, I reckon I know what you’d want.” Harry suddenly said, like he’d noticed Louis struggling. His stomach still resembled a tumble dryer, so nothing at all on the menu sounded appetising. 

The waiter had been and gone, and had come back again with two beers before Louis could talk again. He’d been a bit taken aback by Harry’s offer, and his inner girl was too busy freaking out with excitement at the prospect of Harry picking his meal, like he was living a classic romantic movie scene. “So, what’s your character like?” Louis asked as he sipped a beer, swallowing his girly feelings down with the liquid. 

“Just one of those new kids in town that stirs up trouble.” Harry said with a roll of the eyes. “Eleanor mentioned that there’s a lot more to the story than that, and I’ll get to find out now that I have the part. I just hope it isn’t that I’m a vampire or werewolf or something; that would just piss me right off.”

“Yeah.” Louis said with a laugh. 

“How’s your album coming along?” Harry asked, and he genuinely looked interested. Louis told him that the recording and production was all finished, that it was just the song order that had to be finalised, and then a release date would be revealed. 

“They want me to have another single first, too.” Louis admitted, and he hadn’t even told Ed that. “I think I know which one I want to do.”

The meal's arrived then, and Harry had got it perfect. Really, Louis shouldn't have expected anything different from the curly haired boy.

Harry thanked the waiter with a smile, and he looked so proud of himself for remembering to use manners. When the man left, Harry asked "So what's the new single about?"

“About my present rather than my past, I’ll just leave it at that.” Louis said, and felt himself blushing red. 

“I’ll be very insulted if you don’t put me in the clip.” Harry grinned and picked up his knife and fork. 

“I couldn’t imagine it starring anyone else.”


	21. Chapter 21

So this wasn’t really what Harry expected, but he was having a really nice night nonetheless. It was all small talk with Louis at the beginning, but then Louis was admitting how nervous he was about coming clean about Zayn.

“Why do you have to anyway?”

“I just feel like I owe it to the people that have been supporting me.” Louis admitted with a grimace. He’d just finished his pasta and Harry passed him the desert menu. 

“You pick the deserts.” Harry said with a smile.

“Okay.”

“You know what I think? I don’t think you owe them that. You owe it to the person you wrote the song for to keep it between you. The person you wrote for is dead now,” Louis flinched, and Harry was quick to apologise. He let out a breath and added “I just think it’s no one else’s business. It should stay between you and Zayn, and whoever else you want to tell, but I don’t think you need to tell the world. Is that what he and his family would have wanted?”

“Guess not.” Louis admitted with a heavy sigh. “But don’t you think it’d help people understand how hard it can be? To be gay and a teenager and not have anyone to talk to?”

Harry reached out and rested his hand on Louis’. “The song speaks enough for itself mate. They don’t need to know everything.”

 

Louis had picked ice cream for them to share, just the one bowl because they were both stuffed.

“Reminds me of our first dinner together.” Harry said with a grin as he spooned some into his mouth. He grinned when he saw how some was dribbling down Louis’ chin and wiped it off with his thumb. Louis traced the movement with hooded eyes, and Harry smirked as he offered the digit to Louis. The older boy hesitantly sucked the melted desert off, and Harry felt his grin grow reflexively wider. 

“How so?” Louis asked, blush tainting his cheeks. Harry decided that was his favourite look on Louis, because more often than not Harry himself was the cause of it.

“Well, we got ice cream afterwards for starters.” Harry laughed before immediately sobering. “I noticed how you looked at me too. I liked it. It scared me for a bit.”

“W-h-how did I look at you?” Louis stuttered, and his cheeks somehow managed to redden further.

“Like you really saw me, you know? You seemed to be taking in every little thing I did like it mattered. It’s really nice, to be looked at like that.” Harry admitted, and it was his turn to blush. 

“Because it does. Everything you do matters.” Louis mumbled, and Harry looked up to see that Louis was staring down at his hands, gripping on to the spoon as his knuckles whitened. Like he was embarrassed, but the sincerity of Louis’ words just had Harry’s blush spreading down to his chest and heating up his insides.

 

Harry didn’t miss how disappointed Louis looked when he told him that he had to leave to catch up with Liam and his mates. 

“You can come too.” He added reassuringly, but Louis shook his head.

“I should probably go home. Got, uh. Washing to do.”

“Won’t dry very quick without the sun out.” Harry joked, but only got a small smile in return.

“That’s what a dryer’s for. Mate.” Louis tacked the word on the end, which made it sound so off. 

“Right. Well, I’ll catch you later then?” Harry asked hopefully. This farewell was beginning to feel like a final goodbye, like they would never see each other again, and Harry really shouldn’t have been surprised about how much the prospect scared him. 

“Yeah, later.”

 

The old Harry would have been in heaven right now. Niall was hooking up with Jade somewhere, and Liam was too busy playing footsies with Danielle, so that left Harry to entertain three pretty girls all by himself. Perrie had broken up with her boyfriend and was desperate for a rebound, giving Harry puppy dog eyes and tracing his thigh with a finger. Jesse was stuck to his side like he was a big wad of Blue Tac, clenched on tight to his shoulder and whispering suggestively in his ear. There was a new girl, Leigh-Anne, that he hadn’t seen before with dark skin and pretty eyes that were sending him sultry looks as she licked her lips. It should have been a wet dream, but it was just uncomfortable. He should have been in his element, working them all like he knew he could, but he couldn’t get past how upset Louis looked. 

Harry shouldn’t have left him when he looked so beat. He kept saying that he was trying to be a better person, but where he was now was everything he was trying to leave behind. He watched the bodies grinding together on the dance floor, hands grasping asses and lips colliding with stranger’s, and that’s where Harry used to belong. Now, he didn’t know where he fit in. He just knew it wasn’t here.

“You want to go somewhere quiet?” Leigh-anne asked. Harry took her in, noting the perfectly arched eyebrows and suggestive smile and flash of white teeth. It wasn’t what he wanted to see though. He wanted to see Louis’ eye crinkling grin and slightly crooked teeth, and touch that soft tanned skin that managed to be a caramel more warm then his hair. Most of all, he wanted to be the object of attention from that blue eyed gaze, because maybe in Louis' sight and by his side was where Harry really belonged.


	22. Chapter 22

It was just gone midnight, but Louis was still up and strumming on his guitar. It helped him think when he was anxious or upset, because as lame as it sounded sometimes singing helped him clear his thoughts. 

The date had been perfect, up until the point when Louis realised this really wasn’t a date. Sure, it felt like one to Louis, but the older boy knew that it wasn’t one to Harry. Who was he trying to kid? Harry would never like Louis as more than a friend, or not even that. Who was Louis to him anyway? Was he just another person to fuck?

Louis was startled by a knock on his door. “Harry?” Louis wondered aloud as he looked through the peephole, and opened the door quickly to the curly haired boy. He was met by a grin and lips were crashing against his before he could say anything more. 

“Wait, wait.” He managed to say, holding Harry back after the onslaught. 

“What for?” Harry asked, cheeks tinged pink and mouth red and plump and irresistible.

“I don’t know if we should do this anymore.” Louis said, eyes clenched shut because he knew that if he was looking at Harry, he’d never get the words out.

“How come?” Harry asked, clearly hurt. 

“This means something different to me then it does for you, and I think that if you want to be friends then we should just be friends and leave sex out of it.”

“Louis, open your eyes.” Harry said carefully, and in a voice so raspy that Louis shivered. He did as he was told nonetheless, and couldn’t tear his eyes from the green ones before him. “I don’t want to be friends.”

Louis frowned. So he was just another fuck for Harry, then. “Alright. I guess we should not talk then?”

“No, no. I mean, I think I want what you want.”

“I want you to love me.” Louis admitted with a sigh, clenching his eyes shut again because he could feel tears burning at the back of them.

“I really think I could Louis. I might even now, I don’t know.” 

Louis blinked his eyes open again. “What?” he asked, wanting to see the words dripping from Harry’s lips because he couldn’t believe his ears.

“I think I love you, and I want to find out if we can be something more then what we are now. I really do like you Louis, and right now I don’t want to be with anyone else.”

Louis’ eyes widened. “What?”

“Do I really need to say it again?” Harry asked with a grin, and pulled Louis close, large hands wrapping around a tiny waist. “I want to be your boyfriend.”

Louis blinked, then frowned. “But, your straight.”

“Straight guys don’t fuck other guys in the ass or let guys stick fingers inside them.” Harry said with a roll of his eyes. “I thought you would have known that Lou.”

Louis couldn’t control the crease of his forehead, and the disbelief that was written all over his face. Because, well, he still couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that Harry was standing in front of him, telling him his feelings, feelings that he had for him, Louis Tomlinson. The boy who was nothing special when he wasn’t singing, who got himself into fucked up situations with other boys, who had never been loved before. Harry, on the other hand, was perfection incarnate. It didn’t make sense.

“Stop thinking.” Harry said, kissing his forehead and playing with his hair. “I’m going to have to convince you, aren’t I?”

Louis allowed a smile to slip onto his face. “Yeah, you are.”

“You want to fuck me then?” Harry asked, and Louis’ breath hitched. “Straight boys don’t do that either, just so you know.” he added with a dimpled grin. 

 

Harry woke suddenly, to a soft guitar melody and an even softer voice.

“What are you doing?” Harry muttered in a sleep dazed voice. He rubbed his eyes and crawled to the end of the bed, resting his chin on his forearms to better watch Louis. He ignored the ache in his ass as much as he could; it was a good hurt, but still a hurt. Louis looked up with the smallest hint of a smile on his face, and Harry’s breath caught. He still didn’t know how Louis did it, but he couldn’t name one thing about the boy before him that wouldn’t take his breath away. 

“Singing the new single.” Louis admitted, and began to fiddle with the knobs on the guitar.

“Can I hear it?” Harry asked, and he wasn’t afraid to beg.

“Yeah, alright.” Louis muttered, pink tinging his cheeks and making Harry smile gently in reassurance.

“They said I just went from the frying pan and into the fire.  
But what if that red hot heat only takes me higher?  
I’ll douse myself in water, I’ll feel better at first.  
But water doesn’t quench every thirst.  
It’s only wrapped in those flames that I feel truly at peace,  
So I’ll burn, and be burned again, until I am released.”

Louis sung in the softest, prettiest, most heartbreaking voice Harry had ever heard, biases aside. 

“That’s about us. About me.” Harry said once it was finished, a statement and not a question. It was a beautiful song, but it was sad. And Harry didn’t like that he had made Louis feel that sadness for even a brief moment. 

“Yeah, I’ve got to change how the song ends now though.”

“Yeah?” Harry asked hopefully.

“Yeah. It’s not really another song about loss anymore, is it? We got together in the end.”

Harry smiled his widest yet. “The ending should be happier; something people can jig to.”

“Jig, huh?” Louis laughed. “It’s not a song that should be slow danced to at weddings and formals?”

“No, it should be upbeat and make people feel warm all over, because that’s us.”

“Us.” Louis repeated, grinning Harry’s favourite crinkly eyed grin. “We’re an us now.” And Harry felt Louis’ happiness from where he was on the bed and promised himself to never burn Louis again. Because Harry was Louis’ and Louis was his, and that’s the only way it should ever be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cheesy ending, I couldn't resist! And sorry for my attempt at song writing, I clearly will never be a song writer and have never written a poem in my life/ never intended to haha
> 
> Let me know what you thought of it!! and I'm on tumblr!! Its embrofic so come say hi pleeeeease xoxoxo


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